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If the battery is dead then the shift lock won't work. You need to use the shift lock override. I believe on the 00 it's a small piece of plastic you will remove from the shift cover, just above the drive indicator letters. Then push a small screwdriver or pen cap in there and pull the shifter back at the same time. This should get you into neutral.
As for the lights being on, make sure to check the rocker switch up on the top of the steering column. This is for the parking lights and sometimes get's bumped on by mistake. It's the only power source to the lights with the keys off.
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