Hi there and thank you for your question,
I think that you should have a look at the Department of Justice's website relating to child adoption, as it gives loads of information. The page is listed here: http://www.justice.gov.za/services/child-adoption.html
In short, the consent of a parent of a child to the adoption of the child, is not necessary if that parent has abandoned the child, or if the whereabouts of that parent cannot be established.
There are further examples of where the consent of a parent (specifically in your example where that parent is the child's father!!!) and you should pay careful attention to those examples as they will assist you.
The website also provides a link to Form 61 and 62 which you should complete.
Once your child has been adopted by your present husband, you will be entitled to emigrate with her.
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Please note: This answer does not create an attorney-client relationship. Please consult a local attorney in person for legal advice. This information is being provided so you can better discuss legal matters with your attorney.