my mom has some dementia but can be improved upon with medication OK, when you say "some" is she lucid and competent at times?
I have been aware of her condition the past two years and I know and am learning more about relating with her despite dementia or confusion or memory loss. However, before she went to the hospital she had a break with reality and cleaned out her entire room and intimated that she would be "gone" from me as an attempt to "wean" me, as a dr. suggested she do. She misinterpreted him. He told ME to keep the status quo and help with gardening and preparing meals and playing piano...which I am more than willing to do. OK.
Before hospital at home she took care of herself mostly with dressing, chores, gardening, storing of food and mentally I would call her "beautiful"...a wonderful and active mind. OK.
I have been kept in the dark about what David, brother, and sister Judith have been doing concerning our mother and whatever rights she and I may have. Her rights are all hers at this point. You all have none, unless and until you get court ordered powers.
I want her home and she wants to be here but to live in a peaceful manner. I take it she is still in a hospital. I would also take that to mean that she is not able to be home yet and still needs hospital level care?
She is willing to see a dr. or therapist with me and I am actively pursuing at this time procuring my own therapist .
What I am afraid of is that my brother will pocket the some $2,000.00
Mom gets from Social Security per month and he and sister and dr. will choose a "Medicaid" home for her paid for by Medicare and pumping her with medications and she may be permanently isolated and out of reach from her family and ME. OK, know this:
1) She likely needs a "Representative Payee" to handle her benefits for her. In a lucid moment, consider contacting the SSA (in person may be best) and explaining that your mom is in the hospital, has on and off symptoms of dementia, and ask that you be made RP. Her moneys will then come to YOU, as RP of her. You have to keep an accounting of how it is spend, to ensure it is spent on her bills, not yours, etc. etc. If she lives with you, the SSA will most likely presume you should be the RP.
2) If she goes to a Medicaid home, her SS moneys automatically go to pay for it, with the balance paid by Medicaid. And usually the HOME becomes the RP, to ensure the moneys go where needed. So your stupid and greedy siblings have NOTHING to gain by sticking her in a home IF the reason was them getting to spend her money. Silly greedy people.
My mother lives with me in my house and contributes to home maintenance.You CAN collect rent from her - as one of the bills she must pay. Of course, make it reasonable, but yes, that is not ripping her off and it is a valid expense. And you can also have her pay her share of utilities, just as if she lived under a non-family landlord.
I have, because of my brother's request or Whatever, been ousted from partaking in any of her care besides visiting her. Says who? The hospital?
She is being treated horribly, considering she had not perhaps needed to leave our home to hospital..."initiated" by me.
However, I have heard from the social worker that there is to be a competency hearing and that tells me something not good is going on! Sounds like someone is seeking conservatorship over her. You may want to get a lawyer to intervene.
The subject is money when it comes to her children...I Guess....................I understand.
I do not know at this point if David got POA over her. He probably has, considering her competency is in question. POA doesn't work vis a vis SSA. However, a conservatorship likely would suffice for SSA to pick a RP.
Please advise and thank you. I'd get a lawyer to intervene in the proceedings, to show that you seek to continue to care for your Mom, to argue that her familiar surroundings of where she has been living, very nicely, is what makes her happy, etc. etc., and that change to a "home" would not be ideal, particularly since she has a loving daughter who wants to, is able to continue to care for her in her older years.I am so sorry this is occurring! Incidentally, if there is no RP currently, you can still likely become it in the meantime, but be sure to intervene in the court case because it is likely that the conservator of her person will become her RP at some point, as that is the most logical, since that person is responsible for feeding, clothing, shelter, medical care, etc.
Please tell me how I can keep her social security monies safe for her and out of the clutches of her other offspring See above - you need to hop to it!
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