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TherapistJen
TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship Care
Satisfied Customers: 2806
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Wroker and Certified Professional Coach
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Well, I have been dating this guy 2 years. We have

Customer Question

Well, I have been dating this guy for almost 2 years. We have been best friends for 4 years. Me and him argue all the time and its mostly on stupid stuff he does that really bothers me like sends girls he don't know friend requests on facebook or he puts me on hold so he can talk to someone else on the phone then he will come back to me. He sometimes puts me down by saying dont mess up in college or what do you know about keeping it real with people or whatever or asking for pictures even though he has already seeing my body, what more is there to see that he hasn't seen?! I dont know if I can even consider our relationship healthy anymore, this has been going on for awhile and I am getting to the point to where I can't take it and also I cant seem to break up with him because I am too emotionally and physically drawn to him plus I am in love with his family. What am I suppose to do? Please help! I have already tried to talk to him but it really isnt working and I have tried to take a break with him but it doesn't last because we keep wanting each other back. I know he loves me, but just has a hard way of showing it ...
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship Care
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.
Hi and welcome. As a Licensed Clinical Social Worker with more than 20 years experience, I am here to support you.
You are in a tough spot for sure because it does not sound like he is willing to look at his behaviors and see how they are hurtful toward you but at the same time, you are allowing it to be by staying with him because there is good as well. So as simple as it seems it may be that more acceptance is needed in order to get along with these ways of his and personalize it less and chalk it up to this is just how he is. If you are unable to do that, then it will come down to how much more can you take or are willing to take. Then if you decide you cannot take it longer and you leave it all behind then you must be strong and truly leave it all behind.
I don't hear that though....I hear your love for him and your frustrations. I would continue to keep the lines of communication open and rather than focus on his behaviors, try and focus on how you feel..speak with love, care and empathy and maybe he can hear it all better. His way of relating is different than yours, but if you love him and truly want to be with him, then more acceptance and shrugging it all of may be necessary. Can you do that?

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