Hi, this is Dr. Mark; I'll be glad to help you with this issue.
I can imagine how frustrating and heartwreching this situation must be for you. You want things to be the way they were before but that is exactly what she does not want.
And this is actually the key to my answer to you that you need to consider and think about. I wish there was a way to get her to want things to be the way they were, but we can't. She feels there need to be changes, and it sounds as though she wants to make changes in herself as well as in the relationship. And that the changes in herself she wants to make are more important to her than the relationship at this time.
So, you're in the situation where you can't get to how things were before because it's not in your control; you're only one half of the relationship and you can only control yourself and your behavior. She controls herself and her behavior and she's moved on to other needs in her life than what you two had before. She has moved on to recognizing there are changes she wants to make that are more important to her than what you two had going.
It's so hard to not be down when something is so good for you but you can't have it. I know because I was young once also and had things not go my way in relationships also. And because in my profession I help so many people, both men and women, go through this painful situation:
You know it's right for you and it's so painful to not have her see that it could be so right for her as well. But you can't. So, you have to accept that you're in a new situation now and you have to play it her way or she will call it off. It's not easy but you can do it if you stay hopeful.
Okay, I wish you the very best!
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