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Therapist Leslie
Therapist Leslie, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 324
Experience:  Owner and Psychotherapist at Self-Employed, Private Practice
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Im dating a woman for 9 mo. Now but she no longer has time

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Hi- im dating a woman for 9 mo. Now but she no longer has time for me due to helping daughter with 1st child ( shes due in 3 wks), she wants to talk to me daily, but cant make plans anymore. Are we finished?
JA: The Psychologist will know what to do. Is there anything else the Psychologist should be aware of?
Customer: Weve had discussed slowly going forward, far cry from where we were last summer, should I just throw in the towel ?
Customer: replied 5 months ago.
Posted by JustAnswer at customer's request) Hello. I would like to request the following Expert Service(s) from you: Live Phone Call. Let me know if you need more information, or send me the service offer(s) so we can proceed.

Good morning and thank you so much for your message. I realize it's difficult to reach out. Please know I honor your courage.

My name is ***** ***** I am a psychotherapist in the Metro Boston area.

I'm so sorry you are struggling in your relationship. I imagine you feel alone and probably angry that the woman you are dating is no longer available. In terms of your question, it's impossible for me to know where she is at but I can say that her immediate focus and priority at this time centers around her daughter and her soon-to-arrive grandchild. I also imagine once the baby is born, her days will be spent helping her daughter and being with the baby. My guess is the relationship you once shared is not the priority to her it once was and in terms of moving forward, I think you need to do a couple of things...

First and foremost, please go deep to determine exactly how you feel about her. If there is still much love there, please sit down with her and let her know you miss being with her. Perhaps the two of you can schedule a day or two each week to be together? Or, maybe she can stay with you a couple of nights a week? If she shares the same feelings, no doubt, the two of you can find a way to spend more time together.

Secondly, if your feelings are not there and/or you wish to be with someone more emotionally available right now, I would move forward.

If you would like to do a phone session later today, I can be available. Please just let me know and we can easily schedule something.

Have I answered your question? Is there anything else I can do to assist you further? I want to ensure you are pleased with my service. I also gently request you provide a star rating for me. Of course, we can continue to talk after the rating is provided.

Please take good care of yourself and feel free to contact me with any questions you may have.

Warm regards,

Therapist Leslie

Good afternoon,I just wanted to check in as I haven't heard from you. Have I answered your question? Is there anything else I can assist you with? I gently request you provide a star rating for me so I may be compensated. Of course, we can continue to talk after a rating is provided. Please take good care of yourself and feel free to contact me with any questions you may have.Warm regards,Leslie
Customer: replied 5 months ago.
Well, you're right about everything, I think we still want to be together, but the grandchild is the priority. I still love her, but we're taking things slow until there is time for us, if she still is distant at that time I'll probably move on. I've given this my all, but I'm just a victim of circumstances? You've been great! Any advice on proceeding forward?

I think your decision is incredibly wise and sadly I believe you are a victim of circumstance and timing. I would be sure to keep my personal life active--doing the things you love and find happiness in. Please surround yourself with many friends and spend time with them on a regular basis. If/when things settle a bit with your girlfriend, you can then move the relationship forward into a more serious place. If time continues to bringing similar unavailability on her end, I would walk away.

Does this make sense?

Customer: replied 5 months ago.
It does. I can only give so much without getting anything back. Thanks!

I absolutely agree with you. You also deserve to be in an equal relationship.

I gently request you provide a rating so I may be be compensated.

Thank you so much. Please take good care care and feel fee to reach out as necessary.

Warm regards,

Leslie

Customer: replied 5 months ago.
You're rating is 8 of 10. You're very excellent in looking out for my future. I hope she will respond the way I hope. Just seems like investing 10+ months in something should be worth more. Oh well.

Thank you so much for your kind rating. I truly appreciate it. Please take good care of yourself and know I am here.

Warm regards,

Leslie

Customer: replied 5 months ago.
Hi Leslie, I've been feeling more and more that this relationship is turning into a friendship? No sex in 3 months, as she wanted to slow down, said we jumped in too quick? If that's how she feels, does she want out? Now that the grandchild will consume her. BTW, she's also a Flight Attendant. So I don't see her that often. Any advice going forward?

Oh dear, I think you may be waiting around for awhile for her to clear her schedule and create space for you. I fear she is not emotionally available at this time. I know you have feelings for her but get the sense from everything you tell me that she is not in the mindset or place to have a relationship at this time. I am so sorry as I imagine this is difficult to hear.

Customer: replied 5 months ago.
Well, I figured, but- why is she still hanging on with me? Why doesn't she just let me go? She texts all the time asking about my day, etc. Why would she even care?

I imagine she truly likes you and perhaps is even interested but sadly her current situation makes her completely unavailable. Or, perhaps she thinks she can juggle everything going on but unfortunately this doesn't seem to be the case.

Customer: replied 5 months ago.
Well, it would seem that way. Oh, not that it matters either, but before the holidays a friend told me he saw her profile on match.com, where we both met. He said she's still active! I went off months ago! So maybe she wants me until she finds someone else?

Oh dear, this says so much. Since her profile is still on Match.com, I would assume she does not want to settle down with you and is keeping her options open. Please move forward, sweet soul. I am so sorry.

Customer: replied 5 months ago.
Yeah, I was going to see what happens after the grandkids is born, then I'll ask her what gives. I'm not sure, but do you believe that she's gone out with others ? When she said she wanted to slow down, I figured thete might be someone else? My question is why didn't she just end it?
Customer: replied 5 months ago.
She also asked me if I wanted to go out with someone else to tell her 1st. I asked her to do the same. I just feel like I've been made a fool?

In terms of going out with others, I doubt she has time due to her job and caring for her daughter. Perhaps she wanted to slow down to allow for possibility with other guys. I imagine she likes you and wants to keep you around for now. My recommendation is to walk away now as my belief is if she hasn't committed as of yet, I doubt she will when her life becomes even busier when the baby arrives.

Customer: replied 5 months ago.
that's exactly what I intend to do. I believe the best time is when I have her full attention after all the GK stuff is over here and daughter is gone. Then I'll just walk away and see what she does?

I think this is a wise idea. I am so sorry she is not committed to having a relationship with you at this time. You deserve to be with someone who is emotional available and loves you deeply. Please do not settle for less.

I gently request you provide a star rating for me so I may be compensated. Of course, we can continue to talk after a rating is provided. Please take good care of yourself and feel free to contact me with any questions you may have. Warm regards,Leslie
Customer: replied 5 months ago.
A rating of 9 out of 10! You've been an excellent advisor. Thank you. I'll be in touch.

Thank you so much for your kind rating. Please know I am here and would love to assist you in the future.

Warm regards,

Leslie

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