I am sorry to hear of all this pain for you. It sounds to me like he wants to be able to do as he pleases and as soon as you question or desire more closeness he blames you for wanting to argue. I don't think marriage or having a child would solve these issues and maybe even cause more stress for both of you. He wants you to just be quiet about things and not go to him when you feel upset or hurt or angry. He has been unfaithful in the past and unless he really looks at that behavior then it is quite possible he does it again. I would continue to try to speak with him openly and lovingly and if he gets mad then you are left with some questions for yourself...is this how you want to love moving forward for the rest of your life? Even with the love you feel for him, is he the right man to be in an honest and truly committed and mutual relationship.
Let me know your thoughts.