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TherapistJen
TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3204
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker
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I have suffered from many depressive episodes. I'm 58 yrs

Customer Question

I have suffered from many depressive episodes. I'm 58 yrs old and have recently come to realise pain is there for me to grow. My life is so boring, my marriage stagnant and I have been resisting all change. Now after some NLP therapy I know I need change, growth, independence. I have been self-medicating with alcohol and my son has expressed his concern to me (my husband never does) and things are uncomfortable inside with me now as he has spoken to my husband behind my back...I realise this is from concern but since when does my husband get to do this when he ignores my pain and never addresses it! He drinks too, why doesn't anyone talk to him. I am angry. No matter what I do I'm not enough and I don't feel accepted nor respected now. I feel like everything has changed and I am the bad one.
Submitted: 6 months ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 6 months ago.

I am sorry to hear about all of this pain and suffering you are going through. Clearly your Son is concerned and reached out because of that. Your husband ignoring your pain all these years and now being included by your son with his concern is further alienating. But let's take a step away from that for a moment and only focus on you as it doesn't seem like change will be coming with your husband. You said you need to grow and change so lets let that be your focus and not him or what he has or hasn't done. I hear a fight in you...a fight to grow, to be seen and to live life fully even with these challenges. You are in therapy and making strides, so don't get lost in feeling annoyed that he knows something and he does it too and nobody worries about his stuff. You figure out what you want in life moving forward and do what you can to achieve it. You have already begin by being in therapy..so now it may be time with the therapist to address the drinking, the depressive episodes and really work toward healing yourself and finding your balance and happiness.

Customer: replied 6 months ago.
Thanks Jen, yes I know I have to make the changes now just for me, as I can't stay "here". It's very hard for me to think just of myself and I'm not sure my marriage will survive this or I can do this alone been married 36 yrs! My son is one of three kids and he really cares but he's pressurizing me to change, to not be so negative etc, to get a job, etc etc I feel like I'm being attacked for just being me, I know I need to make some changes but I still don't feel accepted or loved...really loved except by my two young granddaughters who give me a reason to carry on through my suicidal thoughts. I'm running out of steam hence my last ditch attempt now at this kind of NLP therapy which really is giving me a boot up the rear. I've tried everything else including medications again and again but they keep me stuck & hide the pain. I'm like a lobster who cannot shed its shell but I am going to explode if I can't. My motivation and energy is so low.
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 6 months ago.

Well, I hear there is fight and energy in you even if it is hard for you to feel it....you came here and reached out and that speaks volumes and you are in therapy....please know that if you feel suicidal or feel like harming yourself in any way that you get emergency help.

Focus on those grand babies and see their eyes of love accepting you for you...now the real tasks is for YOU to accept yourself for you! I know you can do that.

Expert:  TherapistJen replied 6 months ago.

Let me know how you are doing and if you would please take a moment to click the rating tab to rate my support. Thanks so much.

Jen

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