I am sorry to hear about your recent break-up. Please let me know how I can support you.
Thanks for giving me more information and it sounds like a very tough road and you have really hit the nail on the head.....you love him, don't want the lifestyle and need a miracle. Perfectly stated because unless HE wants to make those changes then nothing will change. The love may be there but it may not be enough for him to make the changes as he might not have the desire. Being in contact with him feels great but it is also painful because you aren't able to have him in the way you need and desire. He can only change and get the help if he wants it and I don't hear that. If he is willing, great but if not, you may need to step back again and care for yourself. Not easy at all but otherwise you will stay stuck in this cycle. Very painful and my heart goes out to you.
And it sounds like he is not able to give you all that you need, want and deserve. It is very sad, but I don't see him giving you this miracle.
I am sure he is grieving in his own way but you both have different desires and sometimes the hardest thing is to care for yourself and walk away realizing that the love isn't enough if many things in the relationship aren't right.
Healing takes time and because the pain is so raw right now things feel bleak but grief can lift and getting the proper support is crucial and you coming here is a great first step. I will also suggest that some face to face counseling could be very helpful for you to get through this space and to find yourself again.
As hard as it is, caring for yourself and forcing a routine for yourself can also be helpful in getting one foot in front of the other each day.
And this is the time to push yourself and find new passions, immerse yourself in new things and through that find new friends. When any of us pace it all on one person we are bound to feel alone. Give yourself the time to heal, get yourself some face to face counseling and rely that you are in there and can heal.
Let me know how else I can support you.