Good evening and thank you so much for your message. I realize it's difficult to reach out. Please know I honor your courage.
My name is ***** ***** I am a psychotherapist in the Metro Boston area.
Ohhhhh John, I am so sorry. Please, sweet soul, learn to practice strong boundaries so she stops continuing taking advantage of you. Sadly this woman has moved on but tells you a loves you as a way of manipulating you into giving her money.
I think the hardest lesson when you’re setting strong boundaries is learning how to say“no.” After all, when you’ve been a “yes person” your whole life, it can be very difficult to turn that habit around, but it’s important to master if you want to have strong boundaries.
Here are some strategies to help you say no:
- Practice saying it in a mirror.
- Have some polite, pre-scripted text messages and emails on hand so you you’re not stuck trying to find the words to say “no.”
- Try saying “not right now” instead of a flat out “no.”
- Let your friends and family know that you need some space.
Saying no can be difficult—by nature, we humans want to be helpful and kind—but ultimately, you need to be helpful and kind to yourself, first and foremost. And saying “no” does get easier with practice, I promise.
At the end of the day, please remember that you matter. Your life matters. Your needs and desires matter. And when you take care of yourself, you are in a much better position to be of service to others and the world.
Have I answered your question? Is there anything else I can do to assist you further? I want to ensure you are pleased with my service. I also gently request you provide a star rating for me. Of course, we can continue to talk after the rating is provided.
Please take good care of yourself and feel free to contact me with any questions you may have.