Good evening and thank you so much for your message. I realize it's difficult to reach out. Please know I honor your courage.
My name is ***** ***** I am a psychotherapist in the Metro Boston area of the United States.
Ohhhh dear, Lionel, I am so sorry about this situation. I imagine your girlfriend is horribly sad and hurt and you pose a great question....
So in order for your girlfriend to regain trust in you, the following is necessary:
1. Absolute transparency: By this I mean honesty in all things. Please do not allow her to have to guess where you are, who you are with and so on. Be upfront about where you are, what you are doing and who you are with as a way to ease her anxiety.
2. Work on what's yours: Please do some counseling to determine why you were dishonest. Sadly, we all become stuck in unhealthy patterns when we don't understand why we do what we do. By doing this, you are also showing your girlfriend that you are working to better yourself for both of you.
3. Discontinue all contact with the woman you cheated with....no comment necessary : )
4. Be open with your feelings: Please let your girlfriend know how you feel about her, how invested you are in the relationship the two of you share and your hopes for the two of you moving forward.
5. Take full ownership: Make sure you fully own the mistakes of the past and sincerely ***** ***** often.
6: Time and Consistency: These two will be your best friends when it comes to your girlfriend regaining trust once again.
Have I answered your question? Is there anything else I can do to assist you further? I want to ensure you are pleased with my service. I also gently request you provide a star rating for me. Of course, we can continue to talk after the rating is provided.
Please take good care of yourself and feel free to contact me with any questions you may have.
Ohhhh sweet soul, this is tough. I imagine she is still furious about everything that has happened and is still rattled to the core. It sounds like you love her greatly, so please, Lionel, keep doing what you are doing--consistently showing her you are making changes, invested in her and the relationship and creating a better future moving forward.
It isn't fair that she continues to "punish" you of sorts and if this doesn't stop in time, I would gently request she stop as it is unhelpful.
Please stay focused and hopefully time will show her that you truly are invested. I'm cheering you on, Lionel!
Absolutely and of course.
Sounds perfect. : )