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Anthony Bray, MD
Anthony Bray, MD, Doctor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 10341
Experience:  14 years as clinician in the field of Family Practice
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Here's the deal. This girl dated a guy on/off a total of 6

Customer Question

Here's the deal. This girl dated a guy on/off a total of 6 years. She was the first she ever slept with at age 25. I met her at age 30 in her life but was coming out of an 8 year ordeal myself and not too interested in trying. She took him back but broke up about 7-8 months later. She looked me back up a week 1/2 after breakup (yeah too soon to start back talking to someone after a nasty breakup)....for the record this girl never done nothing wrong but was cheated on and she did hang in there to try and make it work (first love and kind) well after adding each other back we chatted a cpl weeks and I said lets go catch a movie. She asked me to go to a friends a few days later to catch a NBA game on tv, then asked me to go to a concert a week later, hung out on 2 small occasions and then spent a weekend trip together. (But did tell me her and a gf had planned a Vegas trip for in the future) Had fun, came home and a week later watched 4th of July fireworks together, went 4 wheeling a time or two and always no arguing and fun times. Vegas trip comes up and I say well this is probably where it ends. 6 yr bad relationship and in Vegas, going to get out of line for once. She doesn't, she actually finally admits she misses me and can't wait to get home and see me etc. Even asked me to see her 3 days ahead of schedule from the day we had planned. I decide to do something extra nice because I said if we can make it through a Vegas trip them this might slowly be worth taking to the next step. I get her a cpl dozen roses, dinner, wine and card. We watch movies together afterwords and I finally I got to lay down due to work the next morning (this is 2:30am by this time) we go to bed and neither of us were drunk but did drink some and she was on top of me and said we still need to wait and I said but I don't want to no more (3.5 months at this time of no arguing and told me she didn't know if she could wait till the end of the year to be with me (sexually) or not) and when i said that she gave herself to me. I was the 2nd guy she had been with at 31 years old and the night went good. We had sex twice that night and went to sleep together. I woke up early
Before work and had sex 2 more times. She had a good orgasm before I went to work. I wanted to lay there and hold her but I was running late and couldn't. Her first text afterwords was saying she guesses the chase is over. I reassured her the chase only has begun because I wasn't planning on thinking the goal was over and reassured her I liked her and she was different and special. Well she makes little comments in text that I could tell she regretted giving me herself that soon. She said she always wanted the first time to be real romantic and not we're she feels she gave in to me and not on her own time. Two days later we don't go 4 wheeling because she said it was because her stomach hurt (it was the first time she ever had to deal with the possibility of a guy that could knock her up too) I tell her ok and ask later that night is everything ok. She says it was too soon and needs some time but still wanted to text. And we did text for a cpl weeks but it got too difficult for me. What should I do? I like this one and usually would have said screw it lets move on. She is different than most girls today so I don't know if she is afraid I'll hurt her too, needs time or might be caught up on the ex even though he treated her bad. Any advice would be helpful. Thanks
Submitted: 5 months ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Anthony Bray, MD replied 5 months ago.

Hello!

You and she need to talk things out and explore your feelings and issues ... It sounds that you are really attached to her and ready to pursue more deeply a romantic relationship ....so she may be in process of evaluating her own feelings at this time it sounds to me ...

She sounds on conservative side sexually ...she seems to be taking a step back to evaluate her feelings ... So I advise that you be patient / kind / understanding / work to evaluate YOUR FEELINGS TOO!!

She may be mentally going to your theoretical wedding day ?? You may be in mode of whoa on that TOO !!

It gets complicated ...sexual relations carry powerful emotions for most and especially as she does not sound to be casual when it comes to sex ....

So it does not surprise me that she wants some space and time ....

I think she needs to sort out her feelings with you ...

I hope this is helpful for you

Let me know If you have further questions or concerns

I will be happy to get back with you

If my answer has been helpful and to your satisfaction then please remember to leave positive feedback

Thank you and Best Regards,

Anthony Bray MD