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Ask CounselorJules Your Own Question

CounselorJules, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 572
Experience:  Licensed Professional Counselor
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Can you trust a partner who lies to you about work

Customer Question

Can you trust a partner who lies to you about work situations, finances and such. Also kind of controlling but tries to make it seem like more of a joke than actual compliningor criticizing you.
Submitted: 1 month ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  CounselorJules replied 1 month ago.

Hi,I'm Jules, a LPC,I am reviewing your question now, and will post back with your thorough reply briefly :)

Expert:  CounselorJules replied 1 month ago.

I think that this is a tough situation. It doesnt sound much like the foundation is really built if the small things are lied about. I would think that this is more of a foundation of deceit and then they attempt to minimize their actions by saying "I was kidding" or "only joking." It sounds passive aggressive and that is much worse sometimes because you cannot always identify their motives.... Maybe provide a bit more history so that I can fully support you.

Expert:  CounselorJules replied 1 month ago.

I would like for you to take a look at this article. It is about "white" lies, but how these really do affect a relationship much more than one may realize. You should be able to click on the link.

Also read this one:

I especially like the second article that was sent....

Customer: replied 1 month ago.
Hello, he has told me yesterday that I'm not to ever say my exhusbands name around him when me and my children are talking ( my children all have the same father and we were together for 20 yes before divorcing) we have been divorced for over 15 yes ..
Customer: replied 1 month ago.
He has on talked to me with very short answers in last 3 weeks because I said my ex name one day .. When I finally asked what the problem was he told me . it was because I had mentioned my ez husband with my kids... And when I asked why he hasn't talked to me about it then. He said he just hasn't had the time to talk to me about it so he was keeping to himself and just staying away from me
Expert:  CounselorJules replied 1 month ago.

It seems like he is being "passive aggressive" about things, which is really hurtful. He was not forthright about his feelings and was hiding his real intentions. I think that would bother anyone. The relationship with your ex should not be a threat to him. It seems that this is a situation that is about his insecurity, not about your use of his name. Your children's father will always be a part of your life, but it does not mean that you want to continue on with him as a daily part of your life. You will have to have communication with him-- that should be a given for someone to accept. I am sorry that your partner is turning his own insecurities on you.....

Expert:  CounselorJules replied 1 month ago.

I hope that this has been helpful and that you will provide a positive rating (3 stars or better) for the answer or interpretation that you have received. You can do this by clicking on the rating button and providing a score. The communication does not have to cease if you provide a rating, but it is the only way that the experts receive credit. My goal is to provide with you excellent service. I wish you the best and if you need further clarification, please feel free to ask more questions. I can also send more specific resources if necessary for you! Thank you! Jules

Expert:  CounselorJules replied 1 month ago.

I just wanted to check back in and find out if there was any more to discuss. I was not sure if you had been satisfied with any information given, but please let me know if I should further proceed or indicate a level of satisfaction! best wishes! Jules

Expert:  CounselorJules replied 1 month ago.

Just wanted to check back in with you and ask if your found the answer provided to be significant or helpful. I want to provide services that you feel meet your need. Please briefly let me know :) The only way that experts receive credit for an answer provided is if there is a positive rating provided by the customer (3 stars or better) so if you do feel that you were satisfied, please take a moment to click on the rating tab. If you would like more information or additional resources, please let me know! Thank you, Jules

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