Hi,I'm Jules, a LPC,I am reviewing your question now, and will post back with your thorough reply briefly :)
I think that this is a tough situation. It doesnt sound much like the foundation is really built if the small things are lied about. I would think that this is more of a foundation of deceit and then they attempt to minimize their actions by saying "I was kidding" or "only joking." It sounds passive aggressive and that is much worse sometimes because you cannot always identify their motives.... Maybe provide a bit more history so that I can fully support you.
I would like for you to take a look at this article. It is about "white" lies, but how these really do affect a relationship much more than one may realize. You should be able to click on the link.
Also read this one:
I especially like the second article that was sent....
It seems like he is being "passive aggressive" about things, which is really hurtful. He was not forthright about his feelings and was hiding his real intentions. I think that would bother anyone. The relationship with your ex should not be a threat to him. It seems that this is a situation that is about his insecurity, not about your use of his name. Your children's father will always be a part of your life, but it does not mean that you want to continue on with him as a daily part of your life. You will have to have communication with him-- that should be a given for someone to accept. I am sorry that your partner is turning his own insecurities on you.....
I hope that this has been helpful and that you will provide a positive rating (3 stars or better) for the answer or interpretation that you have received. You can do this by clicking on the rating button and providing a score. The communication does not have to cease if you provide a rating, but it is the only way that the experts receive credit. My goal is to provide with you excellent service. I wish you the best and if you need further clarification, please feel free to ask more questions. I can also send more specific resources if necessary for you! Thank you! Jules
I just wanted to check back in and find out if there was any more to discuss. I was not sure if you had been satisfied with any information given, but please let me know if I should further proceed or indicate a level of satisfaction! best wishes! Jules
Just wanted to check back in with you and ask if your found the answer provided to be significant or helpful. I want to provide services that you feel meet your need. Please briefly let me know :) The only way that experts receive credit for an answer provided is if there is a positive rating provided by the customer (3 stars or better) so if you do feel that you were satisfied, please take a moment to click on the rating tab. If you would like more information or additional resources, please let me know! Thank you, Jules