I am sorry to hear of this roller coaster he has you on. You are very loving and are very available to him so he can be in touch with an ex and also have you at his disposal when it works for him. I am not suggesting playing any games but right now it is very easy for him so he doesn't have to turn all his attention on you and promise forever because you are right there when he asks. I would let him know how you love him, what you desire and ask what he wants at the end of all this. He keeps getting irritated because he sounds like he just wants it easy and his way.
I am here to discuss when you come online.
How else can I support you?
I feel the same as my response yesterday. You are contorting yourself for him and he takes advantage when it suits him. You already are a good person and it saddens me to hear that you don't feel that based on this dynamic with him. He doesn't have much of a reason to fight for you, miss you or truly commit to you if you are always available.
I know how scary it must feel to think of doing so and only you can decide that but I just don't see things changing if you are always there when he asks you to jump. What does your therapist feel?
so she thinks you should keep doing as you are so not to anger him? I got confused by what you wrote above.
So sad to hear how you have given yourself over to him completely. I wish you could see your worth and your strength so that you could move away from this toxic dynamic.
If you are not ready and your anxiety is so high then I suggest working more with your therapist....the last thing we want is for you to have tremendous difficulties. Work with her on all of this so that if the time comes and you make that choice, you are safe and strong enough to do so. It is nobody's time table but your own...focus on you now and work in therapy to gain the insight and support and strength for yourself.
your focus on him only doesn't serve you. Work with your therapist to understand yourself and why you are not able to function without him.