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CounselorJules, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 573
Experience:  Licensed Professional Counselor
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I met a guy online and went on a few dates and the 3rd time

Customer Question

I met a guy online and went on a few dates and the 3rd time I had sex with him, and hes still texting/calling but not as much as before and I feel anxious. we are going to hang out again in a few days but I don't know if I should sleep with him again, I don't want this to turn into a f**k buddy situation.
JA: The Psychologist will know what to do. Is there anything else important you think the Psychologist should know?
Customer: He was super sweet in the beginning but I feel a little inconsistent with what he says etc.
Submitted: 2 months ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  CounselorJules replied 2 months ago.

Hi,I'm Jules, a LPC,I am reviewing your question now, and will post back with your thorough reply briefly :)

Expert:  CounselorJules replied 2 months ago.

I think that you are correct in pausing, especially if you feel that he may not be calling as often. You dont want to establish a relationship of either frivolous sexual encounters or one that suggests that you are "too available" to him. I am a firm believer that "you promote what you permit."So, dont allow yourself to engage in any behaviors that you feel that you are not comfortable with. He may be as equally as anxious as you are, which has led him to backing off on communicating as often. I think that it is a good sign that he wants to meet you again and hang out. Just go into the situation with the determination that you wont allow your boundaries to be crossed if you are not sure of the sexual encounter.

You train people how to treat you and you dont want to reinforce any expectations if you have any reservations about it all. It sounds like you guys had a connection and developed the relationship online, so now allow the natural progression to unfold in person.... There is nothing wrong with establishing your boundaries and maintaining these with him, even after you have already had sex, but the longer you wait, the more difficult it can become. :) So, dont be afraid of letting him know what you really want from him.

Expert:  CounselorJules replied 2 months ago.

I just wanted to follow back up with you and ask how I can fully support you? I noticed that the question was still "open" and the answer, not yet rated, suggesting that maybe you feel that you could use some more help or clarification. Please provide any additional information that I may need to help you or if you are satisfied, please just let me know and I wont "bug" you! LOL! I look forward to hearing from you! Thank you, Jules

Expert:  CounselorJules replied 1 month ago.

I hope that this has been helpful and that you will provide a positive rating (3 stars or better) for the answer or interpretation that you have received. You can do this by clicking on the rating button and providing a score. The communication does not have to cease if you provide a rating, but it is the only way that the experts receive credit. My goal is to provide with you excellent service. I wish you the best and if you need further clarification, please feel free to ask more questions. I can also send more specific resources if necessary for you! Thank you! Jules

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