That is a hard situation. It sounds like you really feel that you have been a genuine friend and are simply asking for the same consideration in return. And you are right, a friendship is about balance and trust. You may feel that you no longer trust her because she seems self-centered about her interests. It sounds like she may tend to push people away when she feels threatened. I honestly think that her actions are a "front" to try and protect herself from being hurt. She is probably very "dependent" on the relationship, but does not know how to really communicate her feelings. Does that make sense?
I wonder how you feel about writing her a letter? Explaining that you care for her and understand if she feels alone, but that you do want to be a good friend. Share that you desire strengthening the relationship and that you would like to be able to meet "halfway" about spending time together and finding a sense of balance or compromise. Ask her what she feels she would mostly want in a friendship and how you guys can continue to maintain your foundation, but if necessary, sort through some boundaries....
I do understand that this is a really hurtful place to be in, but i do hope you dont identify yourself or your worth by the acceptance of a wounded person. She cannot have one foot out of the friendship, and one foot in... It doesnt really work that way-- that is not loyalty or trust. Focus on surrounding yourself with positive influences and positive people that balance you-- not drain you emotionally.....
I can understand feeling that way. How can I fully support you to help you get through this?
I totally understand. It seems like you may be dealing with a really guarded person who struggles with humility when it comes down to taking ownership-- you can't take responsibility for that.
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