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TherapistJen
TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2816
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker
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My ex and I have recently started hanging out. He doesn't

Customer Question

My ex and I have recently started hanging out. He doesn't want a relationship bc he was laid off last year and has had a hard time getting a job. He says he needs to fix himself but want to spend time together. I agreed. While we haven't been physical we have done sexual stuff over ft. He came to my house late night bc I was in a lot of pain he was very sweet about it all. His son bar mitzvah is coming up but he doesn't want me there, thinks it's a bad idea. Gives people the wrong impression and his ex wife would lose it. I feel like he should bring me, this is a milestone I his sons life and he knows I've been looking forward to this since last year. He won't change his mind and I don't know what to do. I said that there are no expectations between us but at some point don't just see me at my place or yours. Or places no one would see us. I feel like I'm being used. Even though he was honest. He has no problem wanting to sleep with me, have dinner etc but doesn't want to bring me around his family whom love and adore me. Please help
Submitted: 4 months ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 4 months ago.

I hear the love between the two of you and how much you care and want the next level of closeness. You are correct that the Bar Mitzvah is a huge milestone and while I can understand your desire to be there I can also understand why it may be the better idea for you not to be there since you are not in that level of relationship at this point. Dinners, intimacy and his desire is there but this next level isn't there currently. It is your choice whether to hang with him and be intimate in the hope that he comes back around and wants more and if you feel you can't then you get to decide what works for you, but try not to let the bar mitzvah be a sticking point for you.

Expert:  TherapistJen replied 4 months ago.

I await your thoughts.

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