I would suggest first that you look beyond your current struggle over who will compromise the more and who less. Have you considered spending your life with a man whose bipolar and addictive tendencies need compulsive defenses to keep them in check? It may be a blessing that he's not willing to compromise with you, since he could easily turn out to be too unrewarding to live with in the long run anywahy.
Thanks for responding. I'm off to early errands and will respond carefully as soon as I have time--a few hours from now.