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Ask TherapistJen Your Own Question

TherapistJen
TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2819
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker
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I was friends with this girl who like 2 years. She would

Customer Question

I was friends with this girl who like 2 years. She would come almost every Saturday to the park with her dog. I would bring my dog. I asked her to go to the park with me and she said no cause she wanted to give her car a rest but told me she would drive 6 hours to a someplace. I felt hurt cause I always go with her. I told her that I didn't understand and felt used. Now is she mad and will not talk. I think a friend should talk and work it out. I would. I don't know what to do
Submitted: 4 months ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 4 months ago.

Thanks for writing in...I don't see how she used you, so please explain a bit further. It sounds like you were both enjoying your time together and she enjoyed it the way it was. I do agree with you that talking things through to work it out is a great course of action, but her hurt may be preventing that from happening. Give her some time and then you may want to reach out again and let her know you miss her and sorry you both felt hurt and would like to get back to how things were and hope she would like that as well. But for now, give her some space to cool down.

Customer: replied 4 months ago.
She said no to the park cause of her care but wanted to drive 6 hours to a concert I tickets for. I felt like she only wanted to do that cause she got something
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 4 months ago.

I can understand how you might feel that way but let's assume that she enjoyed getting to the park on her own. I hear her being more connected to you then you may realize and I can't imagine her only interest was for these tickets.

Expert:  TherapistJen replied 4 months ago.

I think her being angry after you told her you felt used may indicate that she wasn't using you and is upset that you believed that.

Expert:  TherapistJen replied 4 months ago.

This cool off period could be good for both...so take a breather and then try to reach out again.

Expert:  TherapistJen replied 4 months ago.

How else can I support you?

Expert:  TherapistJen replied 4 months ago.

If you don't need any further support at this time, please take a moment to click on the rating tab to rate my support so that I may be credited for my time. Thanks in advance.

Customer: replied 4 months ago.
it has been 2 months and she will not talk, she told me its over. and we are not friends. she has said mean things to me in the past but I am always her friend
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 4 months ago.

I am sad for that for you...If it has been this long then she might not come back and sad that she did not want to talk it through and try and work it out. So for now then, time to pick up, dust off and try and heal from this.

Customer: replied 4 months ago.
ok, the next day she got mad and deleted me from facebook, and would not talk or call. I tried so many times
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 4 months ago.

I hear you and it has been a long time so the only choice you have now is to move forward. She has made her choice and it now much be respected.

Customer: replied 4 months ago.
but it is a stupid choice. I always am willing to talk but no one else does that for me
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 4 months ago.

I know it is hurtful but it is the only way now.

Customer: replied 4 months ago.
what would you have done if you were me after she would not talk?
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 4 months ago.

I would respect her wishes and move on.

Customer: replied 4 months ago.
really? a good friendship like that over in a heartbeat
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 4 months ago.

you can't force someone to stay and you have reached out and she has made it clear what her wishes are so yes, while you are hurting, you must respect that and move forward. Feel what you feel and mourn this loss as that is the only option.

Please if you would take a moment now to click the rating tab as i will be signing off soon.