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I apologize, but I am not able to provide a call at this time, but am happy to continue here with you.
Sorry that happened. I feel for what you are going though and the more I thought about it during the day, it seems like he is dealing with his own guilt and sadness about truly moving on.
I am not able to provide a call. I await your reply here. Thanks so much.
Thank you for your openness and honesty about it all. There is a lot of history here and so many things that impact you both. Even though you were together before his wife died, does not mean he doesn't have feelings of guilt about fully moving on and including you into the lives, even if only by telling them, of his step daughters. I hear you say that "he needs to..." and I understand that but that is based on how you believe he should be acting and what he needs to say to them, but you may have a better chance if you speak to him in a way to try and understand why he is not ready, rather than indicate what you believe he needs to do. You might learn what it really is that gets in the way f him taking this step. If he feels pushed to do so, he may distance himself, so I believe talking to him to understand why it is hard for him would be the way to go. And I don't mean asking him what he wants with the relationship and where it is going, but truly trying to understand what is preventing him. More empathy could go a long way for you.
I understand all of that and I can hear your insistence, but I worry that hurts your goal....I would pull back a bit. It may just be his stepdaughters but he may not even understand why it is hard for him. I know you want the answers and want them when you want them, but he needs to figure this out. Pushing him will not help with what you want.
I don't really hear mixed messages like you and I don't think he is hiding any truth. He just simply may not be ready like you are. I know that is hard to hear possibly, but it may be simpler than you are thinking it. I would step back a bit, give him some space and when you reconnect, you come from a place of empathy.