It sounds like you are a very loving, willing and flexible man and have done a lot to have her feel like it is a union of two families. I think she is dealing with some of her own personal issues of trust and playing them out with you and in the relationship. I hear how hurt you are and I completely understand....As hard as it is to give her this space, I think she has left you no choice but to give her this space and time and it may work in your favor...she will be able to miss you and long for the closeness and sense of family for all of you. I know your desire will be to reach out and find houses as you have mentioned, but I don't think that will get you where you need to go and it could push her further away and desiring more space. So for now, you must live your life and hope and pray that she is able to figure things out for herself and desire to be back with you.
I am here to hear your thoughts
Can I support you further?