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TherapistJen
TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2816
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker
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How do you politely tell someone (my sister) that she is

Customer Question

how do you politely tell someone (my sister) that she is jealous and possessive of her adult children ? sick.
i wanted to give my nephew's wife a tiny, itty bitty keep sake gift and my sister tore right into me that 'SHE was the mother in law' and she should be the one to give the daughter in law a keepsake gift.. well anyone at the wedding can purchase a keepsake gift.
my sister is jealous and possessive of her adult children. for example, i wouldn't be allowed to take her daughter out for dinner; just the two of us. she'd demand to come along with us. how dare i take HER daughter out to dinner without her being there. her daughter is 30, she doesn't own her.
she tore into me so badly over the tiny keepsake box that she had me in tears. she ripped right into me. all i wanted to do was bless this young woman.
we haven't spoke in close to 3 weeks. i realize she needs help but am clueless as to how to approach her with this.
when her son moved to Texas, he had to tell her she called way too often. he told her she was an overbearing mother.
tell me what you think.
http://www.justanswer.com/relationship/9s4h5-nephew-married-weeks-ago-singapore-parents.html
Submitted: 5 months ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 5 months ago.

You are in a hard spot because you know that it won't be met well by her. Even if you see and feel that her way is the wrong way, I would try and not focus on that with her. I would simply let her know what you desire to have with her kids and that is a close and loving relationship that aunts and their nieces and nephews love to enjoy. Let her know you love her and respect her as the parent and hope that she can see how wonderful this relationship between you and her kids is and that she can allow you to cultivate more time with them in whatever way works for all of you.

Expert:  TherapistJen replied 5 months ago.

While you won't be able to change her and her vies, it is possible if you speak to her from a place of love and desire that she might be able to hear you and allow these relationships to flourish.

Customer: replied 5 months ago.
thank you.
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 5 months ago.

Not easy, I know. I wish you the best...try not to use the words jealous and possessive...they can be lightning rods. Go easy and speak from the heart and what you desire.

Expert:  TherapistJen replied 5 months ago.

Let me know if I can support you further. If all good for now please take a moment to click the rating tab to rate my support. Thanks so much in advance. Wishing you a very Happy Birthday on the 11th.

Jen

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