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Therapist Leslie
Therapist Leslie, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 317
Experience:  Owner and Psychotherapist at Self-Employed, Private Practice
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Relationship advice, I've been with my girlfriend years and

Customer Question

Relationship advice
JA: The Psychologist will know what to do. Please tell me everything you can so the Psychologist can help you best.
Customer: I've been with my girlfriend for 6 years and we have a 4 year old daughter. About a year ago I found out she was cheating on me with her ex. It crushed me and I stayed to try to make it work. For the past month I have been talking to another girl and now I don't know what to do. I haven't been happy in my current relationship and now she's pregnant with our second child. If I were to leave I would still be there for my kids.
JA: Is there anything else the Psychologist should be aware of?
Customer: No
JA: OK. Got it. I'm sending you to a secure page on JustAnswer so you can place the $5 fully-refundable deposit now. While you're filling out that form, I'll tell the Psychologist about your situation and then connect you two.
Submitted: 9 months ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Therapist Leslie replied 9 months ago.

Good evening and thank you so much for your message. I realize it's difficult to reach out. Please know I honor your courage.

My name is ***** ***** I am a psychotherapist in the Metro Boston area.

You truly are in a difficult situation and I'm glad you are checking in. My immediate response is that I imagine the pain of the initial betrayal (your girlfriend and her ex's relationship) was never fully dealt with. I imagine this completely torn you to the core and the anger still sits close to the surface. When this happened, how did the two of you work through it? Did your girlfriend own her part and apologize as well as cut off all ties with the ex? How did you find your way back together again?

I realize you are speaking with someone else and imagine it provides a bit of fantasy and removal from the situation at hand. This, of course, does not mean that the relationship with this other is meant to be. The relationship you have been in for 6 years takes ultimate priority--whether the two of you decide to stay together or move your separate ways.

I would highly recommend sitting down with your girlfriend, explaining your concern over the lack of connection between the two of you and seek out couples counseling as a way of determining your next step. The two of you have a child together--and one on the way--and owe this to each other as well as your child/children.

This is not an easy decision but please take the time needed to ensure you make the correct decision. There is no sense of urgency. Carefully evaluate all sides before moving forward.

Have I answered your question? Is there anything else I can do to assist you further? I want to ensure you are pleased with my service. I also gently request you provide a star rating for me. Of course, we can continue to talk after the rating is provided.

Please take good care of yourself and feel free to contact me with any questions you may have.

Warm regards,

Therapist Leslie

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