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Ask CounselorJules Your Own Question

CounselorJules, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 572
Experience:  Licensed Professional Counselor
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There is this one girl that ive been keen on long time.

Customer Question

There is this one girl that ive been keen on for a long time. I asked her out to no avail about 7 or 8 months ago but she said no. This last semester we didn't have any classes together and didn't hangout ever. I haven't even talked to her for a few months now, but the other day I got invited to a party at her house. The thing is that she didn't invite me, one of her friends who I have never met invited me. A couple of our mutual female friends were also invited by the girl I like, but she wasn't the one who actually invited me. I haven't decided yet if I am going. I want to, because this girl I haven't even thought about for months, then I get this invite and all these feelings for her are flooding back, but the whole fact that she wasn't the one who invited me is throwing me off, that it was her bff who I have never spoken to before. What is going on here? What should I do? side note: This was a fb party invite, so I know the girl I like saw I was invited, and I looked at the list and there the girl to guy ratio is like 45 to 5.
Submitted: 5 months ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  CounselorJules replied 5 months ago.
Hi! Hopefully I will be able to help you! Please bare with me while I provide you with an answer :)
Expert:  CounselorJules replied 5 months ago.
Personally and professionally I think you should take the risk and go :) it sounds like you guys could bump into each other and it could be an opportunity to connect and you can have small talk about how you didn't have any classes together, but how your semester went, etc. You can't let fear or the fear of rejection keep you at home thinking about the "what ifs" had you gone! It also sounds like there are going to be a lot of people there and who knows, you may strike up the conversation with a different female who suits you even more!
I'm a positive thinker! Some people think that positive thinking is a load of crap, but hey, crap is good fertilizer! I say go for it and see what "grows" out of it!
Customer: replied 5 months ago.
I left out a couple of details. One, her and her BFF are roommates, so I know if I go I will see her. Two, I almost always take the leap of faith, but even then I am hesitant for this particular situation. Why did her friend invite me? I feel like it's either a really good thing, like maybe she still likes me after all the this time but she just want to say it, or this her roommates/bff's idea of a joke that will just lead to an awkward situation where she doesn't want me to go, but is too nice to rescind the invite. I feel like the immediate move here is either message her friend and ask why she invited me and not stacey, or text stacey and ask strike up a conversation and wiggle that question in. Or not do anything now and just RSVP and go (it's in a week).
Customer: replied 5 months ago.
Still likes me, but just won't say it*
Expert:  CounselorJules replied 5 months ago.
Well, I say RSVP, and then gauge your next move based on any potential feedback. You could text Stacey, and just mention that you look forward to the party, and see what happens....You said the ratio is 45:5. Surely there will be someone for you to have meaningful conversation with. Don't let anyone's intentions, even if they were being malicious, affect you having a nice time!
Expert:  CounselorJules replied 5 months ago.
I just wanted to follow back up with you and see how you felt about the advice given. I can continue to process if necessary :) but if you have been satisfied, just let me know! I do hope you decide to go! no pressure! ha!
Expert:  CounselorJules replied 5 months ago.
I was going through my old questions.... so did you go to the party? lol
Expert:  CounselorJules replied 5 months ago.
I just wanted to check back in and make sure that you have satisfied with the answer given. I hope that you will take the time to provide a positive rating so that credit can be received for the time given to answer your question. A positive rating does not mean that the conversation has to end, but it does ensure credit is given to the expert :)

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