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TherapistMaryAnn
TherapistMaryAnn, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1678
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
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Having an issue with my fiance hoping you could tell me if

Customer Question

Having an issue with my fiance hoping you could tell me if I am out of line
Submitted: 7 months ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr-A-Green replied 7 months ago.
My name is***** and I'd be happy to talk to you. What is the issue, if I may ask?
Customer: replied 7 months ago.
My fiance and I have been having difficulty. we have been together for 11 years and her ex-husband has been recently diagnosed with cancer. This has strained our relationship. I have three step daughters 21,18.15 that we raised and we have one child together whom is 7. until this sickness we have been pretty happy. unfortunately he cheated on her leading to divorce and they have not been close until last three years their relationship has been better. but in general he has gotten away with murder stopped paying child support 5 years or so ago, constantly complaining of money, and has never been very involved with his girls once again within last 2 years he has been around more but still a financial burden on us. Because of this I have never wanted much to do with him. My fiance has come full circle and is now supporting him with encouragement and kindness. i understand its more for their girls and that she has no will to return. However i am struggling with this, which she knows I am upset. She continues to make plans to go this his home to help with chores..He has a girlfriend and plenty of family and friends to support him. I feel my fiance going there is totally inappropriate. I am ready to leave/take a break over this,----- am i wrong?
Expert:  Dr-A-Green replied 7 months ago.
Well, this is convoluted, to be sure... Do the step-daughters live with you, or with her ex-husband?
Expert:  Dr-A-Green replied 7 months ago.
I'm sorry- I don't have phone access right now. We can continue via chat, or I can refer you to another expert that can accept calls, if you wish. Let me know.
Customer: replied 7 months ago.
u can have some one call me its easier
Expert:  Dr. Norman Brown replied 7 months ago.
I'm willing and able to call you to discuss your issues, if you prefer that channel to this public written site. I'll offer Premium Service for a modest additional fee. If you accept that we can exchange phone or Skype contact information and arrange a time to talk that works for both of us. I'm in the Eastern US time zone.
Expert:  Dr. Norman Brown replied 7 months ago.
The JA system seems to have changed again, so it's not letting me offer the service the screens invite me to offer. You can email management that you want to talk to me and I'll email management that I want to talk to you, and we'll see what they can come up with.
Expert:  Dr. Norman Brown replied 7 months ago.
The management asked for this page # ***** they can make it work. In case we don't get thru in the near future (before I have to go out for errands as a caregiver for my wife and daughter--I'll suggest this: It looks like someone could have begun asserting for the full commitment of a remarriage at least 8 years ago. And if your partner's doing this for "her daughters" (guilt), then suggest that the daughters can do it for themselves. And if they don't want to, then she's modeling passive motherhood. And by going missing to defer to her, you're modeling passive fatherhood. Is her ex old enough to be her father? Whose decisions have kept both him and your fiance from remarrying? Or is it religious dogma? I'll continue online until management makes the telephone service available.

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