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CounselorJules, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 576
Experience:  Licensed Professional Counselor
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OK so I met this girl a year a year and a half ago we

Customer Question

Hi OK so I met this girl a year a year and a half ago we started off as just friends then eventually started dating more and thing we're going good when we first meet she was just getting out of a 3 year relationship .everything was going good up until she said I treat her better then anyone beforehas ever treated her she stated in to good to be true. This girl has major self esteem issues and major trust issues and commitment issues after she was cheated on . She purposely starts arguments and says things to upset and hurt alot and turns the blame on me and makes me the bad person . She pushes everyone away . She has meet all my family and friends but I've meet none of hers not one . Was I a security blanket /rebound and is it normal to be going out dating a girl that won't talk to me on weekends ? She pretended I don't exist on weekends ? Is that normal behavior she said I pushed her away but I can honestly say I've been nothing but good and patient with her
Submitted: 6 months ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  CounselorJules replied 6 months ago.
Good afternoon. I am sorry that you have waited for an answer. I wanted to let you know that an expert is preparing an answer for you :) if there is anything else that you would like to add, please do so! I will be back shortly!
Expert:  CounselorJules replied 6 months ago.
Okay, I am working from my desktop and I feel that I have more liberties to send resources or references to you this way.First, I want you to understand that a person who feels intimidated is often quick to self-sabotage or find ways to create scenarios in the relationship that lead to failure. I think when she has told you that you are "to good to be true" she truly means that. Often times we only accept the love that we feel that we deserve. She does not believe that she is worthy of your support, nor does she feel that you will stick around. She is creating a scenario with you to press limits and see if you will stay. She was cheated on, which is a trauma. Traumas create thought patterns that are unhealthy and anxiety provoking. It is difficult to rebuild trust with people when you have laid your heart out in the past and then it was trampled on. I don't think that it is a normal or healthy pattern for you guys not to speak on weekends because I think that open communications require healthy talks and availability. I think she was looking for a reason to find a problem in the relationship because she feels that she does not deserve your kindnesses :(. I think you scare her and make her vulnerable because she does have feelings for you.....
Expert:  CounselorJules replied 6 months ago.
I just wanted to follow back up with you and make sure that you were able to review the answer provided. I wanted to make sure that you were satisfied in the response given, but if not, continued communication can occur :)Thank you! Jules

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