Good morning! Thank you for requesting me. I have read the question a few times. It is normal to have these feelings for a "best friend." You guys trust one another, spent time together, you recognize his intentions as a close friend to you. It sounds like you also recognize that your current boyfriend has some traits that don't really fit into your value/ moral system. You recognize that he is leaving for school soon also. This all is suggestive that you have lost some of the initial feelings that you felt for him. That is an okay thing. We go through these stages in relationships. One thing that you must keep in mind in a relationship-- if it no longer serves a positive emotional purpose for you, it is okay to change or release yourself from the relationships. You are not in a legal commitment and you recognize that he has a negative "energy" as far as the "bad bay persona. I think in the long run, what you really want is the guy who is kind, trustworthy, considerate, and that you have more things in common with. You never need to stay in a toxic relationship anyway. It simply does not allow you to be who you truly are. You were created for much more than that. You need to feel relaxed and open with a partner.
Now, I am curious? Are you concerned about caring for your best friend because you are afraid it will ruin the relationship you now have?
The only time I would recommend someone to reveal their feelings is if they are SURE it is mutual. A really honest friendship will often develop into love without any conscious effort. And if he doesn’t ˜love’ you, isn’t having a REAL, HONEST, CARING guy friend better than a boyfriend that might leave you at any moment? Friends are people who you don’t have to constantly worry about leaving you for no reason. And if he cares for you and stands up for you, he already loves you in a way already. I wonder if the safest option for you, is to release the negative relationship, and allow the natural progression with your friend to take place. It can be a scary thing, but it is okay that you have these feelings for sure!
On the other hand, after you’ve been a good friend with him for some time, you should be able to read their moods. You should be able to get some sense as to whether or not the friendship has developed into more of a romance for him, as well as yourself. If you see these signs, you might want to begin to talk about them with the good friend you so deeply love. After all, good friends should be able to talk about nearly anything. You just have to be willing to accept their answer and you don't want to lose his friendship because of fear. One of the most exciting, but frightening, barriers a friendship faces is when one person falls in love with their best friend of the opposite sex. The feelings are so intense, and the fear of revealing them can be paralyzing. You have spoken to your mom and girlfriend about this. They seem to recognize the chemistry and kindness between you guys as well. My encouragement is to end the relationship that negatively affects you and enjoy your friendship and embrace the positive energy.
How else can I help you? My goal is to provide excellent service and I don't want to leave your question unanswered :)