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CounselorJules, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 565
Experience:  Licensed Professional Counselor
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Co-owner 1 & Co-owner 2 Jill purchase a home as equals with

Customer Question

Co-owner 1 Jane & Co-owner 2 Jill purchase a home as equals with no legal agreement. Jane ends relationship, they continue living together. Jill tries to reconcile for approx a year before starting to date. At this point, Jane claims to want to move, and demands what she paid in, plus interest paid, and half of equity, which by her accounts she is legally entitled to. After nearly a month of trying to reason with Jane, Jill agrees pay Jane her requested amount as an attempt to move on and stay in the house, and end the drama. Suddenly,Jane claims to want to remain in the house, and tries to demand Jill to leave. Jane continuously harasses and blackmails Jill with unreasonable demands, which Jill tries to abide by to keep the peace. Jill has been sole maintainer of chores, yard work, etc, for past two years. Jane is emotionally, and verbally abusive to Jill throughout relationship, and continues to manipulate Jill to try to break up her new relationship. Jane continuously changes terms of any agreement reached, now refuses to cooperate with any offers, meanwhile, intentionally interfering between Jill and her new partner by harassing and threatening Jill if she doesn't do what Jane says, making it impossible for Jill to move on. Jane cannot afford to keep the house alone, and is clearly only trying to make things difficult for Jill. Jill cannot stop the emotional abuse and harassment, and cannot move further in any way, as Jane refuses to move, or sell out. The question - Is this considered extortion by Jane, refusing to move unless paid off x amount of money, after claiming to want to move, then continuously changing the mutually agreed upon terms for which Jill must abide for Jane to move? Can Jill take legal action against Jane to stop constant harassment, manipulation, and emotional abuse in the home, without being forced to sell, as Jane continuously threatens to make her do? Jane is also defaming Jill's reputation at work, to family and friends. What kind of action should Jill take to stop Jane from dragging this out another month, week, or day?
Submitted: 7 months ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  CounselorJules replied 7 months ago.

Thank you for your question! I hope that I can help you! If you don't mind, I am going to take a few minutes to formulate a thorough answer. I wanted to let you know that I am working on it! Also, any additional information is welcome!

Expert:  CounselorJules replied 7 months ago.

I have been reviewing you question. I can provide a bit of service in regards ***** ***** the relationship and overcoming the toxicity, but the legal aspects of the question may be out of my scope of practice. I do know that defamation of character is a legal offense, at least in my state, and can lead to a court hearing. I do encourage you to keep all records of phone calls, texts, etc in a safe place. I encourage you to keep any kind of journal or binder of information related to bills, statements, etc.

As far as moving on, "Jill" unfortunately involved with someone that may have "Cluster B" personality traits. The 4 personality disorders associated with CLuster B are:


According to DSM-5, antisocial personality disorder is a “pervasive pattern of disregard for, and violation of, the rights of others that begins in early childhood or early adolescence and continues into adulthood.”

People with antisocial personality disorder have been described as lacking empathy, which is the ability to “put yourself in someone else’s shoes” in order to understand their feelings. They often act irresponsibly, lie, steal, or repeatedly break the law. antisocial personality disorder is also linked to impulsive behavior, aggression (such as repeated physical assaults), disregard for one's own or others' safety, irresponsible behavior, and lack of remorse.


An inflated sense of self-importance is the key feature of narcissistic personality disorder. Those with this personality disorder often believe that they're “special,” more important than other people, and entitled to special treatment. They require excessive attention, take advantage of others, lack empathy, and are described by others as arrogant.

People with narcissistic personality disorder also exaggerate their achievements and fantasize about being powerful, attractive, and successful. They have no interest in others' feelings and needs, but they do have unreasonable expectations of what others should do for them. Sometimes they envy others, but they often believe that they are envied.


The central features of histrionic personality disorder are intense, dramatic expressions of emotion that shift rapidly and excessive, attention-seeking behavior.

People with histrionic personality disorder constantly seek out attention and are uncomfortable when others are receiving it. They may often engage in dramatic, seductive, or sexually provocative behavior or use their physical appearance to draw attention to themselves. Additional features of people with histrionic personality disorder include:

Relationships that are not as strong as the person thinks they are

Shallow, rapidly shifting emotions

Strong, dramatic statements of opinion

The tendency to be easily influenced by others

They are characterized by dramatic, over-emotional, or unpredictable (erratic) thinking or behavior.

And last but not least....

Borderline Personality Disorder or (BPD)-

BPD is associated with specific problems in interpersonal relationships, self-image, emotions, behaviors, and thinking.

People with BPD tend to have unstable, intense relationships with conflict, many arguments, and frequent break-ups. They fear being abandoned. They often have a negative image of themselves, and they report many "ups and downs" in how they feel about themselves. They may say they feel as if they're on an emotional roller coaster with very quick shifts in mood, such as going from feeling okay to feeling depressed within a few minutes.

People with BPD often engage in risky behaviors, such as going on shopping sprees, drinking excessive amounts of alcohol or abusing drugs, engaging in promiscuous sex, binge eating, or self-harming (for example, cutting themselves or threatening or attempting suicide).

I gave you the breakdown of the disorders, so that we can further discuss how to get past a relationship of this type. I am sending you a few links about establishing boundaries after a toxic relationship.....

You can also contact a local law enforcement member and speak to them directly about the harassment and even the possibility of a restraining disorder.

Im also including a link about "Extortion." I read through it and I would say that you would have a case, but you would need to be able to support your statements with documentation.

I hope this has been helpful. If you can provide any more information, please let me know. I want to be able to help you :)

Expert:  CounselorJules replied 7 months ago.

I was just following back up with you :)

I hope that I was able to help you with your question. Please don't forget to accept the answer and provide a positive rating. It doesn't mean that communication has to cease, but it does let me know that we are going in the right direction.

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