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VA-NP
VA-NP, Nurse (RN)
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 16243
Experience:  Nurse Practitioner
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I meet a man online in my country before that have been in

Customer Question

hello
i meet a man online in my country before that have been in metal hospital before and he had drug problems before. we have had been friends about 6 months and also we have spend time together in his appartment in a building for people that have been in metal hospital. he say he like me and want us to move together. we have been in his appartment some days last week and had a nice time together.
this evening i messaged him and asked him how he is. then he answered bak and said he dont want more contact whit me. then i messaged him back and asked why he dont want more contact and he answered back that is not good for him to have contat whit me. but is strange that he said so because me and him have spend much time last week together. and he talked about that we should find a place to rent together.
i remember i talked whit hom yesterday about the sex life that i want to be satisfied
he saidf i satisfie him. But he stop when he is satisfied.
he said his exwomen was not good because they have use drug.
But i am different beause i dont use drug and he know that.
He have said one time before that he did not wanted more contact but he have come back to me. What should i do now? continue whit my life and find a new partner?
And how do i forget him? he seems to be a unstabil person because he had so many exwomen and it seems that he is not sure what he want. can it be that he have a difficult time now? i am good for him. he is 49 year so he is not a kid.
he dont work. he live on benefit from goverment. i like this man but he onlye answered that is not good for him to have contact whit me. i am in shock because he suddenly
said that in a message. what should i do now?
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  VA-NP replied 1 year ago.

Hello, Rita Mia,

Since this person has mental problems bad enough to be on government disability, it is probably best to move on. Any involvement with him would be complicated since you would not be able to depend on his mental state being consistent - a fact that you've already come to see.

I'm sure you will find someone who can relate to you on an equal basis, who doesn't have all of this person's baggage.

I wish you luck in finding someone who can be a real partner.

Best regards,

Schuyler

~

Customer: replied 1 year ago.

ok but he have been nice to me for 6 months now and allways said that he like me and he said he need someone in his life also beause is hard to be alone to try to get better mental and that he need support.

He say he want love relationship

When he talked about everything that have happend in his past then he got angry on the system here like the goverment , lawyers and doctors

I really like this man and wanted to be whit him in future but he have had so many exwomen before and it seems is difficult for him to have one woman. he was never married before.

Expert:  VA-NP replied 1 year ago.

It does sound like he has commitment issues. If he's 48 years old, the odds of him changing are not good. We can't change other people, much as we would like to at times. I really don't see much of a future for a relationship for the two of you. If you like spending time with him and he is agreeable (sounds like he isn't right now), then go ahead, but don't count on this ever being anything permanent.

Best regards,

Schuyler

~

Customer: replied 1 year ago.

yes it sound he have commitment issues and mental problem and he drink everyday.

and he will be 50 year this year. but i must continue whit my life

but i think about him everyday. i try not to call himto much or send many sms because it seems it disturb him.

Expert:  VA-NP replied 1 year ago.

I think you are wise to get on with your life and try to forget this man. There are many men out there who don't have his issues and would like to find a life partner. I wish you every happiness!

Best regards,

Schuyler

~

Customer: replied 1 year ago.

hello

i was whit that man last week and then he talked about him and me and that we should look for a place together and go on vaction together and i have take him serious of what he said.

But after 7 months he have start to complain about my tits and my stomach that i should shape up my tits and my stomach.

Then last friday when i was whit him i got angry on him for complain on me. and i have go home.

On saturday night i chatting whit him on yahoo messenger and he said he still think he like me and he said we will talk later.

Then on monday i called his number but it was unvaiable.

And i searched his number online and find a new number and i called his new number on wednseday but it was only a telephone answer.

I think about him every day but maybe is not good because i should focus on my situation how to get better economic life when i live

on money from goverment.

Is 1 week since i was whit him in his home so i wonder if i should call him this weekend or wait to see if he contact me?

I like this man and he said he is my friend and partner.

He was in mental hospital before and live in appartment in a building

for people whit mental and drug problems.

Expert:  VA-NP replied 1 year ago.

I think you should run as fast as you can from this man. He is just using you and appears to be unstable. There is no future with someone who can't make up his mind from week to week what he wants to do. As for someone who criticizes your body that way, that is just mean and hurtful, and meant to be that way.

I'm sorry you like him, but he isn't good for you in any form, and you do need to move on.

Best regards,

Schuyler

~

Customer: replied 1 year ago.

yes i now is not good that he is unstabil and not sure what he want

and i am sorry that i like him but he have been patient and invited me to his appartment every week for 7 months now and he said earlier that if he dont want more contact then he will tell me.

is not easy to find a man that like for who i am and if i dont have him

then i am going to be alone.

Expert:  VA-NP replied 1 year ago.

Being alone with your self respect is better than being with an unstable user.

You wrote: "...but he have been patient and invited me to his appartment every week for 7 months now..." You are a weekly convenience for him. If it weren't you, it would be some other woman. Perhaps he might even need to pay someone else. That isn't a pretty picture.

Best regards,

Schuyler

~

Customer: replied 1 year ago.

hello

i dont understand when you saiid; You are a weekly convenience for him. If it weren't you, it would be some other woman. Perhaps he might even need to pay someone else. That isn't a pretty picture.

what did you mean when you said that?

And he have to paid me to come to him,

I was like a friend and partner for him

Expert:  VA-NP replied 1 year ago.

I meant that if you didn't come to him weekly, he would pay a prostitute for her services.

Best regards,

Schuyler

~

Customer: replied 1 year ago.

i wonder how he can pay a prostitute when he is not working and only get benefict from goverment.

Or he find women in pub beause he like to go and drink beer

And i am not a prostitue. i am a friend and partner for him.

Expert:  VA-NP replied 1 year ago.

If he has money for beer, he has money for a prostitute, if sex isn't available free.

"...i am a friend and partner for him...." until he doesn't want you any more, which you said had already happened once.

Best regards,

Schuyler

~

Customer: replied 1 year ago.

ok it happend one that he said he did not wanted more contact but he have come back. now he have not said nothing. he is quiet

he can send me a message so i know if he want to see me again or not

Expert:  VA-NP replied 1 year ago.

If you are happy with this terribly sad situation, then I'm sure you will continue with it.

However, the vast majority of people would not allow themselves to be used in this manner.

Please don't forget to leave positive feedback for the answers I've been providing for the past 12 days.

Best regards,

Schuyler

~

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