Thank you for writing and including so many details in your request. I would encourage you to be open with him. Communication is the only way he will be aware of what your needs are. I suggest that you ask him where the relationship is and share with him what you most want in a relationship. You have to yield to his needs too though. Don't force him to establish boundaries that he is not ready to set; this could lead to resentment. I suggest communicating, but never give ultimatums; that will not give you the outcome you prefer. Also, consider why these behaviors bother you so much. That could be an issue for you to really work on for yourself, especially to make sure that you are not transferring or projecting your feelings onto him, undeservedly.
Hope this is helpful.
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