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Hello and thank you for using JustAnswer. It is possible that you may have some bisexual thoughts/arousal and that is why you want to see, touch, and/or suck a large penis. It is also possible you may just be going through a phase concerning this and you want to explore your own sexuality which is common at your age. Still if you want to try this than you should consider asking a friend that you know, going to a single bar, and/or possibly hiring an escort (as long as you use protection and are safe). Overall there is no specific reason why you are having these thoughts since I have never examined you, but it would not hurt to explore these thoughts and arousal patterns to see where they lead. Sexuality is not black and white as there are many variations to one's sexuality, so you should keep an open mind and explore responsibly.