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Anthony Bray, MD
Anthony Bray, MD, Doctor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 10341
Experience:  14 years as clinician in the field of Family Practice
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OK ,so I have been seeing this man 14 years my junior,

Customer Question

OK ,so I have been seeing this man 14 years my junior, for 5 years.He has his life I have mine, we openly can see other people and talk about those relationships. Recently he told me he has been having problem with his sex drive, he has none, I asked if he was taking steroids,he's a gym fanatic, but he said no, said he can't even seem to masterbate and his current friend calls him a roommate , question is ..he said only time he feels anything sexual is when he is around me, yes we do have sex on occasion, what does this mean? Is he saying he is in love with me or what? Help it is so confusing to try and decipher his meaning and he is no help
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Anthony Bray, MD replied 1 year ago.

Hello!

He may want to have his testosterone level checked as to his low libido....

In would not equate the fact that you and he being sexually active to mean that he necessarily loves you but that may be the case ....

I would have a frank discussion with him as to his feelings and plans ....

I realize that It may be taboo to directly ASK if he loves you but it sounds that this may be the case....

I would ask about his feelings and think yourself about yours toward him....

It sounds that he has a casual but intimate relationship with you ...but he is also involved with this "roommate"

Having an open relationship as you describe is not surprising that bit would lead to confused feelings ...

That sounds to be your current situation ...

So I think that you have some tasks that would be sensible here ...

1) Figure out what you want from the relationship.....what are your feelings toward him ?

2) Find out what he wants as to the relationship with you ... Friends with benefits ? An exciting affair ? Something more serious ?

3) Analyze where you are and if your goals / wishes / desires/ feelings/ -- are they compatible ? Or not ?

You have time. All things do not need to be decided in a day ...

I'm saying to explore the issue tactfully from what you describe....

It sounds that there exists a close relationship between you and him but it sounds complicated ...

You want to be careful not to commit to someone whom does not want commitment ...

That is a risk here I think...

Perhaps part of his sense of attraction to you is the sense of freedom that it seems to enjoy with you....

Perhaps this may be part of your attraction to him??

So it is a matter of careful consideration I think....

I hope that this is helpful for you

Let me know if you have further questions or concerns

I will be happy to get back with you

If my answers have been helpful and to your satisfaction then please remember to leave positive feedback

Thank you and Best Regards,

Anthony Bray MD

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