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Michael Hannigan
Michael Hannigan, Consultant
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 11655
Experience:  25+ Years in the field
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Thank you the time to answer my question. I am a thirty year

Customer Question

Hello! Thank you for taking the time to answer my question.I am a thirty year old bisexual female who is looking for a wife or husband. I've never had or boyfriend or girlfriend.I've never been on a date.I am looking for someone who is an atheist or agnostic, who doesn't smoke or drink, and who doesn't smoke pot or do other drugs. If they've have a history of addiction, I'd like them to have at least five years of sobriety. I'd also like them to be a different race than I am or mixed race. I'd also like them to not be disabled because I am looking for a mixed-ability /interracial marriage.I had my heart set on using Eharmony/Compatible Partners because they have such a high marriage rate and compatibility is really important to me. But then I found out the a six month/one year/two year membership costs over $200. I'm on social security and make $753 a month. I can't afford to pay that much. I looked into other sites(Match.com,Chemistry.com,OKCupid,POF,and about ten others) they were cheaper, but when I did a preliminary search there were either no matches found that met my criteria(and I searched the entire U.S) or the sites matched me up with people who did drink and/or smoked or who wanted kids(I don't want kids, but I would be okay dating someone whose kids were adults). I looked for singles ages 33-70 and still found no one.I liked the idea of online dating because I could get to know someone slowly, without giving out my phone number or address or email address. I also wanted to be able to do a background check before meeting someone for the first time.Now I don't know how I'll meet someone in a safe way. I've been raped before so I want to be very careful. I don't want to go to clubs or bars or ask out strangers and give them my number because I want to do a background check first. I can't afford matchmakers because they costs thousands(sometimes hundreds of thousands) of dollars and they only work with those who are working/aren't disabled. I did find one matchmaker years ago who worked with disabled but only if they were Jewish and they only matched them with other disabled people.Do you have any ideas about how I might go about meeting someone who is interested in marriage(not casual sex), and who meets my criteria in a safe way?Thanks again for taking the time to read this question. I look forward to your reply.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Michael Hannigan replied 1 year ago.

Hello. Thank you for coming to JustAnswer.

Sorry for the delay and thank you for your patience. My name is Michael. I will be helping you with your question today. Please let me know if there as any additional information that you feel might be pertinent to your question. If I don't hear back from you, I'll provide the best answer I can based on the information you've given so far. You will still be able to reply with additional information or questions at any point during our conversation, and I'll revise the my answer accordingly.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Hello Mr. Hannigan! Thank you for taking the time to reply. I think you have all the info you need to answer my question. So I'll just wait for your reply. Thanks!!!
Expert:  Michael Hannigan replied 1 year ago.

Online dating can be difficult to accomplish. IMO, many people online are looking more for sex than they are for a relationship. That isn't the case with every, of course. But if you are going to be looking for something serious online, then there are certain sites that are better for it than others. For example, and you mentioned this, Match.com and eharmony. Sites like Match.com are much more selective about the type of people and behavior on their site - they try to keep it geared toward long term relationships. I know it's not cheap for a 1 year membership, but considering the success rates and the importance of this, it might be worth considering finding a way to saving up for one of them. Online, you really can't beat them for what you are looking for.

Really, the best way is to get out - not necessarily to clubs, but to places where you would expect to find people that match your criteria. Think outside of the normal places - coffee shops, book stores... anywhere... and it doesn't have to cost money. People are everywhere, and the person you are looking for is somewhere. Being out and about increases your odds of running into them. You never know what will happen if you are out where people are. But if you aren't you can be pretty sure.

Mike

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