It sounds to me like she could ease up a bit and you can help in the way you can...if you know that some of your "mess" causes her some distress you can go to her and let her know you will try and do a better job with those things. And at the same time, you can ask that she nag you less about these things and give you some credit on all that you do provide in the home...love, stability, etc. Waiting for an apology usually doesn't work and so I would want both of you to acknowledge your part in things and make an effort to help the other out with issues that you both know could be a hot spot. Women may nag more when they are nervous and feeling out of control, so that should help when it happens...you can go to her and ask how you can help her in those moments. You sound like a reasonable man that does the right thing.
let me know your thoughts.
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