It's not selfish to be more acutely aware of the painfulness of your budding feelings being interrupted--because that's a very strong recipe for HURT FEELINGS: Not because you want to be hurt, but because the interruption of excitement and the intense joy in anticipating more together time with her is a natural emotional dynamic for generating the inborn core emotion of SHAME, in this case experienced as Hurt, Embarrassment, Awkwardness and Alienation (from her)--even though neither she nor you intended for this to happen. And Guilt is also a close relative of Shame, so you are feeling guilty (which you're calling "selfish"). She's ALSO likely to feel Guilt, which she could attribute to disappointing you (even tho that's NOT why she's feeling it: She'll feel guilt, awkwardness and other shame-related feelings because Shame-emotions are naturally triggered by the unexpected&unwanted interruption of the network of love&joyexpectations in her family due to the sudden loss of one valued member. And of course she's NOT happy; she's bouncing back and forth between many emotions and reacting to the tumult in her family. (So you can't expect to make her happy, except to show her respect and comfort.)
She will probably make some contact within a week. American culture is pretty bad at handling the social aspects of grief. (Where's GRIEF belong in the "Pursuit of Happiness?") Because the cultural imperative to "Be Happy" is INTERRUPTED by grief; so most people are unsure about what to say and when to say it. So they act awkward and avoid mentioning the subject of grief and loss--which makes the grieving person feel like she's not supposed to be feeling what she does feel, so her personality gets split in two. (Ultimately your goal could be to give her respect and attention for BOTH pieces of her personality--the "normal life" part, and the part that's sometimes focused on her loss, and her past connection with her uncle, as well as other family members who are perhaps more disturbed than she is. For deciding how to communicate with her, much depends on how close she was to her uncle personally--so you might respond to her first contact with you by asking how close she was to him--and if she indicates that she knew him well, invite her to tell you about him whenever she feels like it. If she doesn't life with anyone else in her family with whom she might share reminiscing and hence processing her own grief, then your asking her to introduce him to you--as a way of knowing her family, might also further your acquaintanceship with her.
Women in American culture form their most valued friendships with other women by exposing their vulnerabilities; and she MIGHT be vulnerable now if she's feeling sadness and/or overwhelmed. Many young women don't want to show much vulnerability to men, and men don't naturally show their worries or suffering to other men. But if you can sense her feelings and approach her with gentleness and some trust in your own vulnerable feelings, your relationship could develop a different level of emotional connection way sooner than normal for early dating.