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TherapistJen
TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3244
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker
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I recently have spent some time with a guy whom I have

Customer Question

I recently have spent some time with a guy whom I have developed feelings for. We are both medical students at an offshore medical school. Not long ago, we spent some time together and I felt the relationship might be going somewhere. But, he recently hasn't taken any initiative, and I want to know whether you can advise me on how to decide whether to tell him how I feel or just take the recent distance as a sign of disinterest and move on.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
It is a time sensitive matter because if I decide to go through with this conversation, I want to do it in the very near future to be able to have some time to deal with my feelings before my workload becomes more intense. This seems like a trivial matter, but I have to protect my ability to focus and I have a tendency to take these things hard. Also, the reasons for and against are: for having the talk - not being preoccupied with wondering whether there's a chance
against having the talk - the length of time I will grieve has a significant meaning at this time in my life
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.

Hi Rachel, It sounds to me like he isn't as interested as he once was. I know you felt you were developing something nice but for whatever reason, he is not in that space right now...could be because of school work, could be because of something else. I think either way, you are going to feel the pain of the loss. It sounds to me like you won't be able to focus well unless you ask him how he feels. There really is no right or wrong way here...just about what will give you the most peace. If you reach out and he doesn't seem interested you are hurting. If you don't reach out, you are left wondering and you are hurting...I think either way you will feel some pain. If it were me, I would probably send a simple message saying that you were enjoying getting to know him and hope that could continue and that if he is no longer interested that is okay too, but just to let you know.

How does that sound for you?

Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.

Let me know your thoughts.

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