Wow, that is quite a dilemma a lot for you to consider. The first issue is your health. Can yo physically and emotionally care for an infant and a child in general? Have you been a caretaker for a child in the past? Have you considered fostering a child? There are over 300,000 foster children in the US who need a home at any given time and it sounds like you are a very compassionate person. Honesty with your boyfriend sounds like the best option. Coming from a place of your feelings. For example, you might say something like, I am feeling like I have finally met someone who I can conceive the idea of having a child with; however I am afraid of my ability to care for a child. When you foster a child, you have the benefit of substantial resources at your disposal to help manage the care for a child. You can also try being a respite care provider to other foster parents or volunteering at a preschool, which will give you the epxerience of parenting a child, but from a slightly different perspective.