I am sorry to hear about this painful loss for you. I think it was wrong of your current boyfriend to decide for you about the ashes. If you were friends and shared a big part of your life, then it was up to you to decide what you wanted. Seems to me he was threatened about your feelings for this other man, which doesn't make a lot of sense since you were not with him any longer. I think you hid it from him because he had told you no. I can understand why you did that...you wanted the ashes, he said no and the only way to get the ashes was to keep it from him. I am sorry that he cannot see it this way and just needs you to be wrong. It's not a matter of right and wrong, and more about what you desired that he was preventing.
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