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Ask TherapistJen Your Own Question

TherapistJen
TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2804
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker
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I have been with my bf a year now and we were supposed to

Customer Question

I have been with my bf for about a year now and we were supposed to get engaged end of this month and suddenly out of the blue he has a talk with me and says that he's been feeling distant and his feelings have changed towards me. He doesn't miss me or thinks of me in his day and he doesn't understand why. He asked for a break but I don't believe in that and I haven't done anything wrong at all and admitted that I was perfect to him and he's upset that he feels blocked and doesn't know why. Things got too comfortable and was going too fast so I told him if he wants we can just end this and he doesn't want that. He tried to be good with me and was making some effort but it's still there and it's making me feel so lonely and unappreciated. But I don't show him that at all. I'm being positive and cheerful and supporting him yet I show that I'm busy and my life won't stop because of him. We were so happy and nothing was wrong we never fought or argued because we are so understanding of each other and we hate the negative energy. Everything was smooth and going really well. And he recently broke up with me because he left he was too stressed with everything and couldn't give me 100% as he used to. And now I'm left to the side confused and hurt. I didn't reply to his break up its been a week now and no one has spoken to the other. Everyday I feel sad and I cry so much from the shock. He was preparing to leave his work which he did a few days ago to open his own company and his mother spoke to me and told me that he has finally reached the point where he is so focused on achieving his dream and a lot of stress is coming with that. And I feel he might be feeling everything was happening too fast and at once and he needed to let me go so he could release some of that stress on him. He is a very kind mature man and wouldn't hurt a fly that's why I feel so confused and shocked to how he did that. And I thought he loved me so much.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I'd like to add that his hair was falling a bit and he had to see a dr and he believed it's from the stress and pressure.And also this past year was amazing we traveled together and he came with me to visit the rest of my family in Norway. We live in Egypt. And he made so much effort and came to see me every other weekend because we live in two different cities. I've been so good to him and he was so happy to be with me and said he was so lucky to find someone like me. This is the first time ever anything happens and it just fell apart because he felt so much stress and was blocked for some reason. His family tells me that he loves me deep inside but he is not aware of it right now because of his stress level. They said to leave him alone for a few months until he recovers and comes back.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
He is the one who proposed to me and I even told him never to feel pressured and make sure this is what he wants and he said yes. And then it just fell apart in a one month time before he was leaving his job and started working on his new company.
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.

Thanks for giving me all of the information. I am sorry to hear of all your pain around this. I am sure you are all of the wonderful things you say and say about him too but that doesn't seem to be the issue. He was very open with you letting you know that his feelings have changed a bit and he needs time to figure it all out. Even if things felt great and he proposed and you are wonderful, that doesn't prevent his feelings from changing or from feeling so much stress in his life, where being on his own is something he desires right now. The best thing you can do is to give him the time and space he is asking for...I know how painful it is and it is okay to let yourself feel all of it. You love him and want to be with him. During this time, live your life and do the things you love and hopefully this time apart can give him some clarity and make his way back to you.

Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.

Let me know your thoughts.

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