Hello and thank you for sharing details regarding your situation. It sounds like you are going through the emotional wringer with this situation. I believe it is about control, just as you suspected. The best thing to do to move forward and heal is to end all contact with him because trying to reason with him isn't causing you anything but stress and frustration. He isn't interested in making a mature, adult move from the sounds of things. Losing your belongings is not a good feeling but waiting for him to step up and agree to give them back is only going to keep you emotionally drained and on edge. Can the things be replaced? If it is something you absolutely cannot do without, then there is the possible option of going to court (civil suit) but you would have to decide if the items are worth the cost in terms of money, time, and energy. If you end all contact, he may decide he wants to make an agreement at that point because he will realize he doesn't have the effect on you he once did. Then again, he may never make such a move if his character is lacking. It isn't fun knowing that something is the right thing to do but not being able to make it happen. You've taken a big step by seeking advice. It shows that you have the needed resources to overcome this situation. You deserve someone that respects you and makes you a priority despite life's stresses. Best wishes for the stress regarding this situation to dissipate. Let me know if I can assist you further!