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TherapistMaryAnn
TherapistMaryAnn, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1678
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
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After four years together, 5 months living together feel

Customer Question

After four years together, 5 months living together feel boyfriend still isn't ready for a commitment. I'm really torn over staying or going.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
A little about each of us. He's 38 never been married, no children, from divorced parents, never lived with anyone, never been in a relationship longer than two years, before we started dating really enjoyed living alone.
I, 39, have been divorced for six years after being married fifteen, two children (20/17), lived with one other person other than ex husband, not afraid of commitment
Expert:  Jen Helant replied 1 year ago.

H,

I would like to help. Do you have a specific question or would like my general advice?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
He says he loves me, wants us to stay together but it seems like he wants that part time. In other words not every second of every day because it seems like alot. I want what he wants but a commitment to me is full time. You give yourself to someone all the time not sometime. Which is why im not sure in staying or going. I can't understand him.
Expert:  Jen Helant replied 1 year ago.

Is it that he wants some space like to go out alone and etc or is he not sure if he wants to marry? What time of specific situations do you both not agree on?

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Space to get things done around the house, finish a couple of projects, spend a little more time with his family. Hes not against marriage but feels im not in a place he'd like for me to be to get married. As far as what we don't agree on? We came up with this last night. We both feel the other is not doing what they say they are, both feel one is doing more than the other and we're both frustrated. That's pretty much it (what I can remember). We compromise and communicate well.

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