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Dr. Z
Dr. Z, Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 10567
Experience:  I have a doctoral degree in psychology and have a history of providing couple's and family therapy.
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Teo days ago, my husband and I got into a fight. He said

Customer Question

teo days ago, my husband and I got into a fight. He said some pretty hurtful things and as a result I have been distant from him. Not intentionally, but honest,y because I just need some time. He packed his bag tonight and left. He said whenever this happens and I M distant from him that it's better if he just leaves the house for a night or two . . .however long it takes. We have a small child. . .he isn't just leaving me but her as well. Is this a healthy strategy for him to take? I feel absolutely crushed and hurt that he would rather be away from us then us just because I might be a little distant. . .its something I will get over. . . .his actions make me feel like I M being forced into getting over it before I am ready. . . .
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Two days ago*
And I am distant*
Then with us*
It's something I will get over meaning I won't stay mad or hurt forever. . .it may take a little time but it's not something serious. . . .
Expert:  Dr. Z replied 1 year ago.

*This website DOES NOT constitute treatment and only provides information and advice in a Q&A format. For treatment (therapy and/or medications) you must go to a licensed professional in your area.

Hello and thank you for your question. His behavior of just leaving is not very healthy at all and will only make the situation worse. Him leaving will make you and your child feel abandoned, or even worse will make your child feel like this is normal and acceptable behavior. While I understand that you being distant is not helpful either, but it does not excuse your husband to leave for a night or two as that only causes him to escape instead of dealing with the problem/issue at hand. I would highly recommend for both of you to consider couples therapy to help address this issue and to work on a better form of communication. You recognize that your distance, albeit unintentional, is not the best form of communication and that may be something you can work on as well, but he also needs to work on communicating his thoughts and feelings instead of running away for a night or two (or possibly longer in the future). if you use words like "we" and "us" it may show him that you two are a team and must work on this together.

I hope this answers your question and gives you some guidance on this issue. Please let me know if you have any questions or concerns as I am happy to assist and support you regarding this issue.

*Please do not forget to leave a positive rating at the top of the page so that I can get credit for helping you. Thank you, ***** ***** appreciate it.

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