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Ask Jen Helant Your Own Question

Jen Helant
Jen Helant, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1386
Experience:  I have a degree in psychology and worked with many couples. I am happily married and have been for 10 years.
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After finishing with my ex who I may add has a drink problem

Customer Question

After finishing with my ex who I may add has a drink problem and dabbled with drugs in the past we had some heated text and verbal communications. Throughout our relationship we were always very sexually liberated. sending each other steamy pictures of
each other. She did at times show and express our prowess to her close friend. I had pictures of her in underwear which were once sent whilst with her friend away in her caravan. I was not on holiday with her. We used to visit porn sites and my ex would like
the look of the figures of some girls. I copied one of those pictures once as she liked it and aspired to look like her. We used to send it to each other every known and again with flirty texts. However when we split she contacted me one night being her usual
antagonistic drunken influence way. I did a stupid thing and sent a picture of her in underwear to her friend. My ex being slightly overweight and drunk, a sight she had seen before with my text saying "a drunk at work" . I then sent her the picture of the
porn model who was my ex's inspiration to lose weight and get fit and said "any one you know". I know ive been stupid and actually played into her hands and lowering myself to this. Last night I was call by the police who have asked me to go to the station
for an interview regarding abusive texts and calls. I guess I will be arrested. I can honestly say I have never sent naked pictures of my ex to anyone and felt as we was in a liberated relationship the pictures were just part of that. I feel rather stupid,
humbled and disgusted in myself. What can I do . Please help. I look forward to your help.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Jen Helant replied 1 year ago.

Hi,

At this point what's done is done. We can not change the past. What you can do is use this experience to learn in the future. Sometimes people can do things on impulse to then regret it later. When that happens it is best to face the consequences, learn, and do what can do recuperate relationships as well as with yourself. Be able to forgive yourself also. You do not want to blindly forgive yourself and say it is okay. You want to allow yourself to acknowledge your feelings of disgust because that will bring growth and change rather than denial just to feel better. This shows you have feelings and you have personality. Use this as a growing experience to bring yourself to a higher level. Sincerely ***** ***** whomever you may need to and allow time to heal those relationships. Regarding the police you may want to consider speaking to an attorney and you may just have to face the consequences for wrong action then go from there to move on with your life and use this as a learning experience.

I wish you the best and please let me know if I can be of further help.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I need a legal response please
Expert:  Jen Helant replied 1 year ago.

I apologize I thought this was a relationship question as it is in this category. You would need to post the the legal department. I will try transferring this for you.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I have done it but it has cost me now an extra £36 . Not happy really
Expert:  Jen Helant replied 1 year ago.

Hello,

I do know different categories have different fees also depending on your level of detail desired as well as if you have a subscription. In anycase I can assure you by me answering this question it did not cost you anything. You are only charged when rating my answer. You can request to have this closed and refunded. Thank you

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