*This website DOES NOT constitute treatment and only provides information and advice in a Q&A format. For treatment (therapy and/or medications) you must go to a licensed professional in your area. Please note that anything said here is not private or confidential, as this is a public forum.
Hello and thank you for your question. May I ask, do you have any contact with a mutual friend or possibly family member to give you an idea of why she broke up with you? Also does she has a turbulent relationship history where she has broken up with others like this before?
I am very sorry that you had to experience this, I can tell that you were frustrated and distressed by her behavior given how you feel about her. Because she has not contacted you at all and has not reciprocated any forms of contact you have made, I would say that there is a low chance she will contact you and even if she does, she probably is not ready for any serious relationship at this point in her life. If you really want to make an attempt to contact her I would recommend that you write her a letter detailing how much you had a great time with her and how much fun you had with her while you were together. Try to avoid getting too serious in the letter as that is possibly what made her feel overwhelmed before and led to the break up. You also do not want to apologize for your insecurity issues that you mentioned as that can be interpreted wrong on her end. Try to talk about the good times you both shared and how you were looking forward to more good times as well, and then leave the letter that if she ever wants to contact you about anything she can call or text you anytime. This will put the "ball" in her court to try to contact you when she is ready, if that is what she wants to do. In the mean time though, i would highly recommend that you move forward with your life and not wait for her because there is no guarantee that she will contact you and when you are ready I would encourage you to start dating other people again.
I hope this answers your questions and gives you some guidance on this issue. Please let me know if you have any questions or concerns as I am happy to assist and support you regarding this issue.
*****YOU ARE ALMOST FINISHED…EXPERTS ONLY GET COMPENSATED FOR EACH POSITIVE RATING, SO I WOULD APPRECIATE IF YOU COULD GENTLY MASH ONE OF THE 3, 4, 5 SMILEY FACES/STARS THAT YOU SEE BEFORE YOU GO. THANK YOU SO MUCH AND IT WAS MY PLEASURE HELPING YOU WITH YOUR ISSUE*****
Her divorce definitely does not sound good, but it does not necessarily point to a history of turbulent relationships.
*Please do not forget to leave a positive rating before you sign off. Thank you, ***** ***** appreciate it.
Thank you for your further response. I meant that you should not apologize for the insecurity or needy part as you described it as that may backfire for you. You can try to tell her that you did not mean you wanted to break-up, you just wanted to try to get on the same page and that what you said came out wrong. That you can apologize for not communicating more effectively with her. Try to keep it fun in the letter since that is something she appears driven to as she likes fun and instant gratification, so remind her of the fun you shared and how much more fun you could have in the future together. You want to recommend meeting for coffee, lunch, or dinner, but again leave it to her to contact you when she is ready as you do not want to pressure her and you want her to go to you when she is ready, if that is what she wants.
Do not mention the miss her part, but you can mention the good chemistry. Wording this is going to be up to you as I will not micromanage your letter, it has to come from your words and not mine if it is going to be truthful and from the heart.
You have to use your own words if it is going to be real, just be honest with her and and express how much of a good time and chemistry you shared with her. You can apologize for intercommunicating your concerns or reacting impulsively, but still focus on the good times. Remember though you are only in control of your actions and behaviors, so you can say everything perfectly in the letter, but the decision is hers alone if she wants to respond positively or not.