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DrJackiePhD
DrJackiePhD, Doctor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 347
Experience:  I have been doing research in relational/interpersonal communication since 1998. My Ph.D. is in interpersonal communication.
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I have been very down and depressed lately which caused me

Customer Question

I have been very down and depressed lately which caused me to be needy and negative and reflected it on my boyfriend . I keep asking him if he wants to leave me , and if i am not good enough,and asking if he is with other woman . As i panic i kept txting and annoying him and finally he snapped on Thursday and told me he needs a break and now he wont answer my calls and i am afraid its over . He said he needs till next week , i am really sas i dont want to lose him over my messed up attitude i care about him . How do i fix this i am panicking
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I really need to find away to be calm and not feel anxiety over this matter soon. I am being childish
Expert:  DrJackiePhD replied 1 year ago.

Hi,

I'm Dr. Jackie, an interpersonal communication researcher/professor and relationship expert. I am so sorry you are going through this.

First, the good news is that you do recognize that you have been anxious, which is causing you to over-react. While I don't always agree with Dr. Phil on everything, I do like one of his most repeated quotes, "You can't change what you don't acknowledge." That is so true. So half the battle truly is realizing what you have been doing that is pushing your bf away. I think if you give it some time and he can see you changing, you have a good chance of him coming back. But now you have to get to the root of the problem. You can't really change or fix a behavior until you find the cause. That is, what is causing this depression?

I want to encourage you to see a medical doctor if you do not have any external factors that you are aware of that would have caused this depression. By external I mean a recent death/loss of a loved on, a recent move, a job change--any major life changes that would put you out of your normal routine. If you can't think of anything like that, then my best guess is that there is a chemical imbalance. A medical doctor would be able to examine you and determine if an anti-depressant or anti-anxiety prescription might be right for you.

I hope this makes sense. You definitely recognize and want to change--and this is the first big step. But you also need to figure out the trigger(s), which may just be your body's chemical imbalance If you don't figure out the trigger(s), your behaviors are very likely to change.

Please let me know if this helps. I'm willing to chat more. Also, I'll send you my phone and Skype information so that you have it if you want to talk.

Best,

--Dr. Jackie

Expert:  DrJackiePhD replied 1 year ago.

Hello there,

I see you have not rated my response, so I am asking if my response was not helpful? I would like to help and make sure you are satisfied. Could you please reply here again--maybe I misunderstood? I truly want to help; please let me know what I can do.

Best,

--Dr. Jackie

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