I'm Dr. Jackie, an interpersonal communication researcher/professor and relationship expert. I am so sorry you are going through this.
First, the good news is that you do recognize that you have been anxious, which is causing you to over-react. While I don't always agree with Dr. Phil on everything, I do like one of his most repeated quotes, "You can't change what you don't acknowledge." That is so true. So half the battle truly is realizing what you have been doing that is pushing your bf away. I think if you give it some time and he can see you changing, you have a good chance of him coming back. But now you have to get to the root of the problem. You can't really change or fix a behavior until you find the cause. That is, what is causing this depression?
I want to encourage you to see a medical doctor if you do not have any external factors that you are aware of that would have caused this depression. By external I mean a recent death/loss of a loved on, a recent move, a job change--any major life changes that would put you out of your normal routine. If you can't think of anything like that, then my best guess is that there is a chemical imbalance. A medical doctor would be able to examine you and determine if an anti-depressant or anti-anxiety prescription might be right for you.
I hope this makes sense. You definitely recognize and want to change--and this is the first big step. But you also need to figure out the trigger(s), which may just be your body's chemical imbalance If you don't figure out the trigger(s), your behaviors are very likely to change.
Please let me know if this helps. I'm willing to chat more. Also, I'll send you my phone and Skype information so that you have it if you want to talk.