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Alicia_MSW, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 794
Experience:  Specializing in relationship/family counseling
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I have been talking to this guy since April of this year. We

Customer Question

I have been talking to this guy since April of this year. We only been thru three lunch dates, he only communicate via text, he never call me. Our last lunch date was June 23rd. It's August 22, I haven't see him since then, during our last lunch date I asked if he was single, he told me that he was going thru a separation and he was moving from the place he stayed and didn't feel confortable talking about it . We leave as that and he never brought it up again. He promised to take me golfing with him and but the invitation never came thru. This guy works for my company where's he's a top executive , but in a different building. He's 46 years old and I'm a 35 divorcee. Although I told him he could call me any time, he never call. Sometime I found my self texting him more than he text me. Sometime he appeared interested and sometime he seems distance . Last time I told that I would like to see him, he told he's working on that. One time he distance himself to me, I asked if he was ok with, he told me that he try to be balance and smart. I really like this guy, am wasting my time?
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Alicia_MSW replied 1 year ago.
Hello, I'm Alicia. Thanks for asking your question - I'm happy to help you today.
It sounds to me like he does like you but that he has a lot going on in his life at the moment. And it could also be that he doesn't reach out to you because you seem to be always reaching out to him first or being "too" available (telling him he can call any time, asking him to see him, asking if he's single, etc.). Or he is so distracted that he "forgets" things, like the golf invitation. I don't get the impression that things like that have anything to do with his lack of interest in you. But I think the biggest part of it is probably whatever complications are going on in his personal life -- it sounds like the separation is taking a toll on him and causing his lack of interest at the moment. And you say that he does seem interested at times, so I don't think it's due to any lack of interest in you specifically, but more that he's distracted by the separation and the practicalities associated with that. My advice would be to stay friendly with him but to try to back off a bit and give him some space. Give him the chance to approach you -- and try to be patient. It could just be that he's waiting for the dust to settle from the separation and he's just not ready to get involved with someone so quickly (even though as I said, and as you've picked up on, it does seem that he is interested in you.) I would not give up hope, because he may come around sooner than you think, but just remember that a lot of men also prefer to be the ones doing the chasing, not to be the ones who are chased. If you can be patient and give him space, then I think that's the best chances for things working out between the two of you. I wish you all the best.