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Dr. Z
Dr. Z, Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 10643
Experience:  I have a doctoral degree in psychology and have a history of providing couple's and family therapy.
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My girlfriend and I have been dating a year, this is the

Customer Question

my girlfriend and I have been dating for about a year, this is the second go around for us. The time we were young and live about 1,000 miles apart and it just didn't work. Now im a little closer and she plans on moving to where I'm station in a few months. The problem is she has had a lot of sexual partners(44) and she says most of them were bigger than me. We once got into it and she told me to grow a penis. Now she says she only said because she was upset at me, she also tells me im the best she every had. I have never been insecure, I have a little above average penis and many I've been with loved it. My issue I cant over what she said and now I think when we talk about sex she is lying. What should I do?
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr. Z replied 1 year ago.

*This website DOES NOT constitute treatment and only provides information and advice. For treatment (therapy and/or medications) you must go to a licensed professional in your area.

Hello, I am sorry that you are having this issue with your girlfriend, I can understand how distressing this can be for you. We all at one point or another have said something out of anger and frustration that we did not mean and I am sure you can recall yourself saying something in anger that you did not mean. While I know the comment your partner made cannot be taken away, but you should not focus on this one comment as the truth. Instead try to look at all the other pieces of evidence that your girlfriend enjoyed being with you sexually and also when other women have been satisfied sexually with you. I am sure when you look at all the evidence there is more positive affirmation of your sexual prowess than negative with your current partner and other women previously. To help you with this as well, here are a couple good exercises/techniques that I use with patients to help them see things more objectively and to not focus on just the negative.

http://psychology.tools/decatastrophising.html

http://psychology.tools/what-if.html

Overall if you are your girlfriend have a good relationship and the only real negative right now is this one comment, I would recommend working it out with her as she only said what she said out of anger/frustration. Over time this comment will start to affect you less and less, as you start to focus on seeing the whole picture and not focus on this one comment. I wish you and your partner all the best and I hope you two will work through this very soon.

I hope this answers your questions and gives you some guidance on this issue. Please let me know if you have any questions or concerns as I am happy to assist and support you regarding this issue.

*****YOU ARE ALMOST FINISHED…EXPERTS ONLY GET COMPENSATED FOR EACH POSITIVE RATING, SO I WOULD APPRECIATE IF YOU COULD GENTLY MASH ONE OF THE 3, 4, 5 SMILEY FACES/STARS THAT YOU SEE BEFORE YOU GO. THANK YOU SO MUCH AND IT WAS MY PLEASURE HELPING YOU WITH YOUR ISSUE*****

Expert:  Dr. Z replied 1 year ago.

Hello, I noticed that you viewed my answer and I was checking in to see if you have any further questions or concerns that you would like me to address on this issue?

*****YOU ARE ALMOST FINISHED…EXPERTS ONLY GET COMPENSATED FOR EACH POSITIVE RATING, SO I WOULD APPRECIATE IF YOU COULD GENTLY MASH ONE OF THE 3, 4, 5 SMILEY FACES/STARS THAT YOU SEE BEFORE YOU GO. THANK YOU SO MUCH AND IT WAS MY PLEASURE HELPING YOU WITH YOUR ISSUE*****

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