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Martin
Martin, Engineer
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 4810
Experience:  i'm 41 and i never stopped studying and experimenting
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My boyfriend only cares about strip clubs and party's and

Customer Question

My boyfriend only cares about strip clubs and party's and gets mad when I try to tell him how I feel about. My boyfriend just turned 20 and I'm 18. I like going out too but I'd rather stay in and cook and watch a movie. I feel like even though I'm younger then him, I am much more mature. He is way behind on fines and bill payments but still manages to go out and get black out wasted. We live together and now it's fusterating me when I come home after closing my work at 3am and his drunk friends are either fighting or crying around the house. It bothers me when he's drunk because I do not think that when he is drunk that I am his girlfriend but acts more in single person way. I found pictures he's had with other girls drunk on his lap, texts to old ex girlfriends etc, but when he is sober is a totally different person like when I first met him. He buys me a lot of nice name bran stuff but he uses it against me to defy is actions saying I'm being controlling talking about him going out when he just brought me for lunch or a new wallet and continues to do his own thing later that night. I don't know what or how to bring it up to him anymore, honestly feel like giving up but I can never let go and always end up coming back to him. I just want someone's opinion on what I should do.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Martin replied 1 year ago.
Hi. Most men are mentally less mature than girl, at least by 4 year. I don't know how you where at 14 but many girls i remember where very pesky at that age :)
He live in a tribe view for the moment, not into a couple view. He probably do not talk often about future projects, those projects should now be his focus point. He will eventually exit the party mentality but it may only be in 5-6 years and some never get out of it if it mean breaking the friends circle.
You can get some leverage by talking to his parents (or perhaps an uncle he like and respect or an older brother he like).
He buy you things, but that is of little value if he do it by debt as he don't make payment and pay fines.
He surely have one friend that have more potential than the others. Try to organize things with that one so that he see the others less.
I don't know what kind of job he have, but many party all the time because they have boring jobs or jobs that don't fatigue them enough in the day. You can help him to find something that will calm him down a bit and offer him more responsability and future opportunity.
You can also adapt a bit to him, try to find a middle gound. You perhaps don't like the party universe but perhaps you two can find more action packed activities, like sports or make trips to allow him a little break from his friends.
Quiting him is always a possibility. Many women think they can change a guy, this happen very rarely. In reality the better usually get better and the worst usually get worst.