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TherapistMaryAnn
TherapistMaryAnn, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1681
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
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I re-united with my ex after we broke up 8 yrs ago. Have had

Customer Question

Debra, I re-united with my ex after we broke up 8 yrs ago. Have had email, SMS, and Skype calls the past year. I took her on an expensive Greek holiday this year and she was totally closed down. Unappreciative. Self-absorbed. Wouldn't even hug me until the second last day (day 10). Says she loves me like crazy but just wants to be friends. Why would she come with me in the first place if she felt no attraction for me? Is she jerking me around?
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 1 year ago.

Thank you for your question. When people break up and go through the hurt of a break up it takes time to heal. But sometimes there is that what if that stays in the back of your mind. It's that always wondering if we stayed together what would have my life been like. I feel that she wondered what would her life be like if you both never broke up. Now that you established a relationship she got scared of getting hurt. She knows this is her last chance at you and her being together. She doesn't want anything to happen so she is using an excuse saying she wants to be friends. But that is not what she really wants. She is just nervous. She figures if you and her are friends there is no pressure of a relationship. You both can get to know each other again and she won't have to worry about you both breaking up. This way she has you in her life without losing you ever again. I feel in this relationship she wants to take things slow and let the relationship grow. You have been communicating for quite some time but she still has her heart protected, afraid to fall in love. I would let her know how you feel and tell her you are not going anywhere and if she wants to take things slow you will take things slow. She needs to be reassured that you are not going anywhere. Thank you again for your question.

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