*This website DOES NOT constitute treatment and only provides information and advice. For treatment (therapy and/or medications) you must go to a licensed professional in your area.
Hello, I am very sorry that you are having this issue with your partner, I can understand why you are concerned about her alcohol use. Unfortunately because she refuses to acknowledge that she has a problem with alcohol and will not truly put forth the effort into treatment there is very little you can do to help her as she has to be the one to help herself. You can say everything right and make the most logical argument on why you believe she has an Alcohol Use Disorder, but only she can make the decision to acknowledge that this is an issue and to truly seek treatment for it as well. Because she does not really believe that she had a problem with alcohol, most likely she never saw the point in treatment and that is why it was no effective...I mean who would change themselves or their habits if they do not believe them to be wrong or an issue. So while I know you want to help this woman with her alcohol uses, I am afraid there is little you can do for her if she will not help herself. You are the only person in control of your actions and behaviors, and she is the only person in control of her actions and behaviors which is why she is the one that must choose and push forward with treatment if she is going to change.
There are only two ways right now to get past this issue, and one is that you either have to accept her drinking as part of her identity right now because she is refusing to make any more concessions on this issue. Or you may want to consider taking a break from her, which either could be the "wake up call" she needs to realize she has an alcohol use disorder or it will give you the chance to move forward from this woman, albeit painfully, because of her unhealthy habit.
I know this is not exactly what you wanted to hear, but only your partner is responsible for her own actions and only she can decide when her alcohol use is a problem that she must seek treatment for. If she does not recognize this as a problem than her drinking most likely will continue and may even worsen over time. Your decision is if you want to stay in a relationship like this or if you want to end the relationship because you feel this is unhealthy, that is within your realm of control.
I hope this answers your questions and gives you some guidance on this issue. Please let me know if you have any questions or concerns as I am happy to assist and support you regarding this issue.
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